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Tuesday, 31 January 06
in need of prayers
i don't normally do this, but there's a little girl in need of prayers, thoughts, hopes, wishes tonight. christi thomas -- i don't know how i happened upon her story, its the internet, ya know, but i've been following it since the summer. in reading the back journals her parents wrote, i got to learn more about memorial sloan kettering cancer centre (mskcc). mskcc is where my father is being treated for stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer.. so, christi's story has been helpful for my own healing around my father's illness. i don't know her, i've only read her story, but christi's illness has taken a downturn, and her parents face scary decisions. i only hope that her parents are able to get some sleep tonight, because they'll need all the energy they can muster tommorrow.
Posted by brooke at 09:15 PM
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Coretta Scott King
"Not only is another world possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." ~Arundhati Roy
Thank you Mrs. King, thank you for taking His vision and making it yours. Thank you for taking your vision and carrying it to those in the next generations. Thank you for believing that another world is possible, for helping us to believe that another world is possible. Thank you. May you rest in peace.
Posted by brooke at 08:31 AM
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Saturday, 28 January 06
sometimes ya gotta accept
that things change. yeah, i've never been one very good at it, but its just a fact. and it doesn't mean it won't feel icky.
on the ego filled side. n called me today. 2 reasons why -- one ego filled, one not. i called friend e to ask her, and her first reaction was the ego filled one, and then reasoned it could have been the non-ego filled one. i think until i call her back --- tommorrow afternoon -- i'll stick with the ego filled reason.
yeah. dig-it. e says i'm good at what i do. goddess, that feels good to hear. my ego isn't feeling to great today.
in other news i have 3 people i should call tommorrow. dunno why its so hard for me.. a friend from HoN that i hope to connect with, outside of HoN; a guy about finding out when the next co-counseling course is (i only hope its soon, and not on a tuesday night or saturday day); and my uncle, whom i haven't spoken with in nearly 3 years?? fuck, has it been that long? goddess yes, it has been that long. and its my next step, so i need to get on with it. no my friend p in california, i've not forgotten, i'm just a bit late my friend, please forgive.
in recovery from smaller boobs surgery, this is the first night the cats are sleeping with me since the whole thing began. they are thrilled, but, frankly, i've not missed them much. they wake me up a lot at night, because there are 4 of them, and they move around.. not a lot individually, but collectively. plus tonight was the first time i took my bra off, and it didn't feel like the little suckers were going to fall back through their sutures.. AND some of the scabs around the sutures are starting to come off, ON THEIR OWN, without me picking (i'm a scab picker). they are still sore in the suture area when i move some, but i'm not on any pain pills, so thats just ducky. hopefully this rate of recovery will continue and i'll actually start enjoying them, and eventually stop having all my focus be on my boobs. i can't wait for that to happen.
Posted by brooke at 08:36 PM
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Friday, 27 January 06
humour
at the last heart of now my friends told me i was funny. i mean, yeah. i was on the platform** and they were all laughing at me. no, they weren't laughing at me, they were laughing at how i was saying things.. this had to be clarified for me, while i was standing there. yeah, up there, all exposed and shit, and that was the first time i was really able to hear that i was funny.
now, now i'm all self-conscious of it and all. yeah, i mean, really self-conscious. now that i know that i can be funny, when i try to, well.. it falls flat. this is not an awareness i like. no, its not. i wish they'd never told me, because now that i know, i want to be funny all the freakin' time.
yeah.
:P
y'all know i love you, but i really wish you'd just let me believe that y'all were laughing at me, instead of with me. :P)
anyhow.
i think i'm coming down with a cold. fun. yeah. fun. :P and i'm looking forward to a day with the teens tommorrow, and now i may not be able to go. fuck me. anyhow, we'll see how i feel in the morning. maybe i'm just exhausted because today was a more active day than i've had in a long time. got a lot done for unnamed organization, more than i've gotten done since my surgery. felt good, but now i'm exhausted. and i deliberatley exposed myself to my good friend k, just cause i wanted to see her some more, after talking to her on the phone for an hour. it was good to see her and talk to her. things are easy with her, really easy with her, unlike other friendships i seem to have these days (now, there's a judgement, or, well, yeah, something i need to clear, eh? gotta love it :P). nothing seems loaded. i love ya k.
and my aunt now has a weblog. hey aunt s, will you email me the url again, i've misplaced it! welcome to the blogging world my dear aunt, i'm looking forward to getting to know this side of you.
okay. i'm rewatching a few episodes from scrubs, and maybe i'll put on 'bend it like beckham' and fall asleep to it. i'm enjoying scrubs episodes, because like friends -- yes, friends, ya wanna know why? -- because like friends, scrubs makes me LAUGH. i'll watch anything that tickles my funny bone. yes, laughter is terribly important to me.. because as the quote -- that used to be at the top of this weblog --- says "at the height of laughter, the universe is a kaleidescope of possiblities." that kaleidescope is important to this person who once lived in hoplesseness 95% of the time. i live in that hopelessness much less of the time now, but its still there, and, while i hope i never go back to that 95%, i don't have full faith that i can't. so, laughter, it gives me hope. and to be able revel in the glory of laughing at even the most stupid of things, well, that means a lot to me. yeah, it brings me out of darkness, and i think it helps to keep it at bay. and goddess, that is IMPORTANT. keeping hoplessness, and darkness at bay, well, its more than important, as someone who's been there, i can say its part of what is saving my life. so, yeah. friends, scrubs, i can't wait to find more mindless things to put in this dvd player to keep myself laughing, cause i'll tell ya -- laughing is far better than other things i've experienced in my lifetime.
g'night all. see you in the morn. maybe not, because goddess, i hope i feel okay, because i really want some more time with those lovely teens i work for. good rockstar kids, yeah, dig-it, good rockstar kids (yeah, for you hon'ers out there, bigger rockstars than that 6 foot tall one that hangs at lvec with us, and that says a lot coming from me).
gotta love a sugar / emergen'c high, eh? hahahahahahahaha
**platform: an exercise we do at heart of now wherein a student stands in front of the classroom full of assistants and other students, on a platform, and has a conversation with the teacher-types in the room. in my opinion it is the most powerful exercise in the course. i have been lucky (??) to experience this exercise 4 times, i have friends who have never done it.
Posted by brooke at 10:13 PM
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Thursday, 26 January 06
i'm supposed to hear
about georgia within the week. or so the email said. *sigh*
what if i don't get in?
Posted by brooke at 09:29 PM
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oh no.
the boys are falling behind. goddess, this country is really fucked. because the boys are falling behind and we must go do something to save the boys. nevermind that the girls have been behind forever, and that the boys run everything in this patriarchial society. yeah, gotta worry now. nevermind that.... well, fuck. i guess if you look at george and the example he's setting, its no matter the boys are falling behind, because really, with that kind of example, they don't have to strive very hard in order to have the smarts to become president. really. the boys are falling behind. the sky is falling, the sky is falling.
sorry boys. i don't have a lot of pity for you, not in this patriarchial society that we live in. because no matter how dumb you get, as things stand, you will still earn more than a woman in the same position you are in, and you'll have a much better shot at becoming president. yeah. no pity. sorry.
mush brain, mush.
Posted by brooke at 11:06 AM
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my brain has become mush.
yes. goddess yes. my brain has become mush.
did i mention i'm over this bedridden crap? because my body has become mush too.
BUT. if i do this then i can go help out someone who needs my help on monday. yeah. not a lot, but i'll be able to do something.. i hope.
Posted by brooke at 10:54 AM
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Wednesday, 25 January 06
day 7
i'm on day 7 of this recovery crap. day 6 was a crappy day, except for the 2 hours i got to spend with the teens i get to work with. i've been slapped back to bedrest as much as possible over the next few days, as i popped a suture. :P i don't do bed rest very well at all. its rather depressing and not good for me emotionally. yesterday i attempted to plead with the plastic surgeon about being able to do more physical activity, but no one in the room, not even my friend, would hear my side of it. :P
so. its me, a bunch of dvds, and anyone who might come to visit. friend k is coming today, friend m is coming tommorrow for 45 min to chat volunteer stuff... going to call some other folks to try to plead my case about coming to visit me. hopefully friend c could come in and watch a movie, make me dinner, and cuddle some on sunday. i could really use his support right now.
Posted by brooke at 08:53 AM
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Sunday, 22 January 06
handy dandy and day 4
found this share my wifi. i just listed myself. i'm happy to share my wifi, but people just need to get the WEP key.
and day 4. i've gotten lots of sleep over the last 48 hours, and time alone. i'm feeling a bit more human and will call some people tonight for company. plus, tommorrow, i'll probably go do a couple of things with work, which will be nice.
Posted by brooke at 04:42 PM
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Saturday, 21 January 06
over it.
i'm over this being tired and hurting thing. really. i don't do this kind of weakness helplessness crap very well, and i'm ready to be done.. though i know that this is just the beginning of my recovery. pah. i'm exhausted, grumpy, moving slow and talking softly. pah. and the support has been great, though i feel overwhelmed by it. i'm not used to all this support. pah on me.
Posted by brooke at 02:00 PM
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Friday, 20 January 06
my new body
i don't have a full length mirror in my house, the only mirror i have is my bathroom one. this normally isn't an issue, but right now i'm wishing i had one.
i spent sometime tonight getting myself acquainted with these new breasts of mine. i tried on a bunch of clothes, which wasn't a good idea because all my clothes are the pull over kind, and then i just took sometime to look. i first spent sometime just in my little white bra looking into my reflection in my living room window, and then i dragged a stool over to the bathroom mirror. it was good to see, it was good to get a look at what my body has been through. it was interesting to note the change and to realize how much healing i have to do. its a bit overwhelming, but, when cupped up in my nice, white, simple bra, its very nice. very very nice.
i'm looking forward to being healed. i'm looking forward to experiencing my body in its new make-up. i actually want to go jogging. i've never been able to jog, really, and now, well.. soon, i can. i look forward to this new body of mine, and where i'll go with it.
Posted by brooke at 07:20 PM
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48 hours
i finally slept last night. took pain meds and benedryl. konked me out for the night. woke up at 6.30 to do it again. i'm still awake and am expecting my first visitor of the day at 9am. i think i'm finally letting myself be bedridden for awhile. first 24 hours -- no way, but now. now i think i'll just sleep, let myself recover. maybe not do the things for work i thought i would on monday and just heal.
i go up and down about my excitement about this. i think i'll really get excited when i can truly take them out for a spin after they've healed a bit.
anyhow.
i'm tired. must close my eyes now.
Posted by brooke at 07:20 AM
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Wednesday, 18 January 06
smaller boobs
i now have smaller boobs. i'm delighted and am looking forward to going to victoria's secret with at least one if not more friends to take the girls out for a spin in some new pretty bras in a few weeks. should be fun, a coming out party of sorts.
the day at the hospital was not long. 6.00am-3.30pm. i was rather truamatized till after i woke up.. i remember opening my eyes in the operating room and simply saying 'i want m or m' -- 2 of my friends on my support team who were able to come to the hospital for parts of the day. i got what i wanted and then i was out of recovery in 1/2 hour rather than 3 and back to the short stay unit. i think my big reason for getting out of recovery so quickly was because i had to pee, and there was no way in hell i was going to use a bed pan. so, i woke up pretty damn fast. i don't think most people end up like i did today. the power of my mind, and probably all those lovely people keeping me in their thoughts all day long.
on that note, i need to figure out how i'm going to sleep. i got 2 hours last night, and don't seem to want to sleep tonight. i have to take pain pills and antibiotics in 1.5 hours and empty my drains. i sent my support home, because i knew i'd be less likely to sleep if they were here.. its going to be a long night. tommorrow i've a friend coming at 10, another at 3.30 to take me to my post-op appt, and another at 6. yep.
Posted by brooke at 10:47 PM
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can't sleep
wonder why.
just starting to realize the physical scariness of this thing in the morning. not just the emotional. :P
on a more positive note. enjoy this. my favourite chocolate these days.. dagoba chocolate, and my favourite product that they have: chai
Posted by brooke at 01:47 AM
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Tuesday, 17 January 06
yes.
good news.
Fraught Issue, but Narrow Ruling in Oregon Suicide Case
for those of you without nytimes access..
PORTLAND, Ore., Jan. 17 - Just 30 terminally ill people exercise a right each year that is unique in America to the state of Oregon, hastening their deaths with a lethal dose of drugs prescribed by doctors.
The Supreme Court decision on Tuesday rejecting the Justice Department's effort to block the state's Death With Dignity Act will allow such suicides to continue, but it may not have the broad impact people on both sides of the debate are predicting.
There is no reason to think that the pace of physician-assisted suicides will quicken in Oregon. And the decision lends little support, one way or the other, to the efforts to enact similar laws around the country that have stalled since the Oregon law was enacted in 1994.
The Supreme Court's ruling was, in fact, notably focused and technical. It did not address whether there is a constitutional right to die. It did not say that Congress was powerless to override state laws that allow doctors to help their patients end their lives.
It said only that a particular federal law, the Controlled Substances Act, which is mainly concerned with drug abuse and illegal drug trafficking, had not given John Ashcroft, then the attorney general, the authority to punish Oregon doctors who complied with requests under the state's law. The law allows mentally competent, terminally ill patients to ask their doctors for lethal drugs.
"What the court decision means is simply that you won't have federal agents trying to put an end to this in the state of Oregon," said Dr. Timothy E. Quill, a professor of medicine and psychiatry at the University of Rochester, who is a prominent supporter of physician-assisted suicide. "We were very fearful of what might have happened had the ruling gone the other way."
Here in Oregon, the issue was initially contentious, passed by a bare margin in 1994. But the more that people outside the state criticized the law, the more support it gained here. When it came up for a second referendum in 1997, it was upheld 60 to 40.
"I would not expect to see an increase in doctor-assisted suicides here," said Mary Williams, Oregon's solicitor general. "But I do expect more states will at least have discussion now."
But states have been free to enact such laws, and they have not followed Oregon's example. Mr. Ashcroft did not issue his interpretation of the Controlled Substances Act until 2001, and it was soon enjoined. The federal government lost in the courts every step of the way.
One question now is whether the debate will move from the court to Congress. Peg Sandeen, executive director of the Death With Dignity National Center in Portland, said her group would move to push legislation or voter initiatives in several states.
But Ms. Sandeen said the organization was concerned that "a Congress that would intervene in the death of Terri Schiavo" might be galvanized into action by this decision.
Still, Tuesday's decision may prompt lawmakers in some states to give the matter a fresh look.
"This decision gives the green light to the rest of the nation to move forward with assisted-suicide laws," said Mathew D. Staver, president of Liberty Counsel, which filed a brief supporting the federal government in the Oregon case. "This particular case was either going to close the door or to open it, and it opened it."
In the handful of states where a similar measure has been under consideration, supporters said they hoped the decision would help.
"This will be a tremendous momentum builder for Vermont and other states who want to bring compassionate care to end-of-life issues," said Dr. David Babbott, a board member of Death With Dignity Vermont.
Opponents of assisted suicide said Tuesday's decision was a narrow and technical one that did not endorse any particular approach to these issues.
"I don't think its impact will be great," Dr. Robert D. Orr, the president of the Vermont Alliance for Ethical Healthcare, said of the decision. "Some have misunderstood the Oregon case as a challenge to the Oregon statute itself."
The Oregon law was initially held up by an injunction, and not fully put into effect until 1998. Since then, through 2004, a total of 208 people have taken their lives by lethal injection with a physician-prescribed drug, usually a barbiturate.
Critics had said Oregon would become a suicide center, with people flying in to end their lives. They also predicted that the law would be unfairly used against uneducated people or those without health insurance or adequate medical choices.
In the seven full years since the law has been in effect and records have been kept, more than 60 percent of those who have killed themselves have had some college education, the state reported.
Nora Miller, whose husband, Rick, took his life here in Portland in 1999 after he was given less than six months to live with a diagnosis of terminal lung cancer, said the Oregon law allowed for a peaceful and relatively pain-free end to his life.
"He was worried about being unconscious and completely out of it," said Ms. Miller, whose husband was 52. "But it was as good a death as he could have hoped for."
She praised the court decision as a backing of individual liberty.
"This country was founded on the idea that you should be able to make these kinds of decisions without government interference," Ms. Miller said.
But the leader of a group of Oregon physicians who have long opposed the measure, Dr. Kenneth Stevens, said the medical community had long had ways to help people deal with pain at the end of their lives.
"I've been taking care of cancer patients for more than 30 years," Dr. Stevens said, "and I feel helping people kill themselves is not something doctors should be doing."
Gov. Theodore R. Kulongoski of Oregon said one effect of the decision would be to allow innovative states like Oregon to continue to be laboratories for new ideas.
"The U.S. Supreme Court recognized the delicate balance between our federal system and the right of the states to be the crucibles for new ideas and new ways to meet the changing needs of their citizens," Mr. Kulongoski said.
Timothy Egan reported from Portland for this article, and Adam Liptak from New York.
Posted by brooke at 10:35 PM
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home again
home again, home again from another Heart of Now course. this time i was a student.. a role i'd been looking forward to for awhile.. but it was a long course and lots of emotions flowed. by sunday i was ready to be an assistant again, and monday afternoon found me laughing with glee as i was able to take my role back as an assistant. i won't know how powerful the course was till a couple of weeks from now, but i have an idea that it had a big punch. i'm incredibly grateful for those who held space for me. they are good people and the gifts they give me are simply unmeasureable. on days when i feel alone i simply need to take my mind to those moments and know, that even though i don't see those people as much as i'd like to, that they love me and i them. they are in my life for a reason, and i am a better person for having them. the love that they've taught me to show, the love that they've showed me, its a gift. its a gift to love, its a gift to be loved. yes, my friends, we are lucky people to be able to do this work.
i have my surgery in less than 48 hours. i'm terrified. i'm not thrilled about being helpless and out of it for too long of a time. i'm simply not thrilled about it at all. but i'm getting lots of support around it, and i know that i'm looking forward to the end result.. just not the inbetween.
long day tommorrow. i should try to go to sleep. a lot too much to do.
Posted by brooke at 12:34 AM
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Tuesday, 10 January 06
a good day
i want to mark this moment, how good i feel.
it was a good day. stressful this morning, but i had support. i'm having surgery in a week. breast reduction. i'm not writing much about it because it is a stressful thing for me, but its happening, and this morning at the presurgery consult i got to share a joke with my friend who went with me. my friend is also my new boss, so when the doc said -- you'll have to take 2, maybe 3 weeks off, will that be okay with your boss, i just turned to her, and asked. and the look on his face, and the nurse's was just priceless. i got quite the chuckle from that one, so i wanted to write that down here so i'll remember that. thanks m, thanks for sharing the laugh with me.
and tonight. this is the email i sent to my friend (and new boss):
hey m,
i'm just getting home from group(sidebar -- i'm not only doing admin work but tonight i started doing direct service with the folks we serve). poor p, i stopped by to see about when would be a good time for me to go over the refreshment book with her, and i just started leaking at the seems about my night. leaking? thats a strange word, i didn't cry, i was more giddy. anyhow, my point. i just realized that -- as arundhati roy so eloquently put -- another world is possible, but unlike what she says, i can't just hear her breathing, i can see her living. maybe thats a bit too much praise, maybe i'm just super giddy because the laughter tonight was a wonderful high, but there's something you've got with this organization that most people, even people as close to it as p, can't seem to see is actually possible. i wouldn't have believed it if i weren't there in it. you'll probably continue to hear this kind of praise from me, you'll just have to get used to it.
love, me
i just needed to mark this. i needed to keep it for myself.
Posted by brooke at 09:35 PM
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Monday, 9 January 06
more right with the world
my good friends t, p and g are home from their trip. i've missed them terribly. i didn't realize how much i missed them till last week sometime.. anyhow, my world feels more right with them home.
Posted by brooke at 10:00 AM
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Thursday, 5 January 06
why give him press??
why the fuck does anyone even give pat robertson press? it simply doesn't make any sense to me.
Posted by brooke at 05:27 PM
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ugh.
i'm supposed to be having breast reduction surgery 2 weeks from yesterday.. i'm starting to question whether i'll do it or not.. but most likely i will. and that being the case, everything i've read says to stop things like caffeine 2 weeks prior. that was technically yesterday, but in actuality today. :P
last night i picked up some every day detox tea to start some kind of good process, and i'm going to try to quit eating so much candy and crap. i'm also going to make sure i drink a couple of emergen'cs a day because i hear vitamin c is good for the soul, as long as siberian ginseng for my immune system.
.... but NONE of that is COFFEE. none of that will have the lucious taste of hazelnut and coffee mixed together, and none of that will give my body that happy little caffeine buzz i'm enjoying so much these days.
i'm so screwed. not only me, but my new co-workers as well. i'm sure within the next couple of days they are going to wonder what the fuck m thought was so wonderful about me to bring me on. i'm nearly certain that by the middle of next week -- as my stress towards this whole thing rises and its been nearly a week since my last cup of coffee they are going to be telling m to go ahead and fire me. ha! and i can't be fired because i'm not being paid.. but thats how desperate they are going to be to get rid of me because i will be SO INCREDIBLY GRUMPY. my co-workers are so screwed. and poor m is going to wonder about her new friend that she liked so much at one point that she convinced her to leave her paid job to come work with her and her organization at a non-paid job. she's going to wonder about her judgement of people. m is so screwed, and then she has to go to HoN and see me there TOO!
shit. are smaller boobs REALLY worth this???
Posted by brooke at 08:26 AM
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Wednesday, 4 January 06
sbb
i'm going to offer my copy of the book stone butch blues to a friend tommorrow to read. she's never read it, and in a brief conversation with her about gender identity, i realized she hasn't spent as much time thinking about it. she's someone who educates young folks about gay oppression. my thought is if you are going to educate about gay oppression, ya gotta read stone butch blues. not only is it a great read, but there's a lot in there. a lot. its had a deep affect on most people i know who've read it. it had a deep, strong, affect on me.
the first time i read the book.. i'd gone to charis books earlier that day and picked up a copy for myself. i'd heard about the book, and in the fall of 1995 i decided it was time for me to go read the book. yeah, so i picked my copy of the book up, and headed over to the bar i was hanging out in at the time. goddess, that was an interesting place. it was a working class bar in a bad part of the bad part of atlanta that i lived in at the time. it was a working class dyke bar. i was a young butch. yeah, i was a butch. i identified as so, and i walked around in combat boots when i wasn't at my job at the daycare center. i had my hair cut short, and tried to act tough. in reality i was a young dyke, newly graduated from the super-expensive private liberal arts college in one of the rich neighborhoods in atlanta. i had a degree that i didn't want to use, i was battling, at the time not knowing i was battling, chronic major depression, and i didn't know what i wanted to do with my life. i had found this bar, and had become a regular there. these women had accepted me, and for a short time i envisioned for myself an 'easy' life hanging at the bar, working jobs that didn't matter because at the end of the day what mattered was every night and the time i spent with my friends at the bar. yes, i actually remember thinking about this choice, and remember a time when that life seemed okay, and i remember a time when i knew that that decision wasn't for me.
so, back to the story. i picked up stone butch blues, headed to shahans, and sat at the bar and read this book. i couldn't believe what i was reading. i couldn't believe that someone was writing this book about being as lost as i was at the time (though, in that moment i couldn't tell you thats why i was so hooked). i sat at the bar remarking about the book, and not paying attention to really anyone around me.. i talked at the bartender for a second or two, but really, it was about the book. i left early that night, and just read. and read. and read till i was done.
yeah. it changed my life. for the longest time i couldn't put my finger on what was so remarkable about the book for me. i thought it was the story of queer, but it was that the book gave me permission to not know what it was i wanted to do in my life. it gave me permission to not have it all figured out. it gave me permssion to be lost, to explore not only my sexuality, but my gender identity, and my own being in this world. it gave this lost young dyke permission to eventually figure out that, while she was queer, that she wasn't a dyke after all. what a great gift, what an amazingly wonderful, tremendous gift.
since reading the book for the first time i've read it numerous other times. i haven't read it in a long time, because now that i know its okay to be lost, i focus a lot on the scary story that leslie feinberg writes about. i don't need that.
i got to meet leslie at the against patriarchy conference a few years ago here in eugene. leslie was the keynote, and alix olson was the entertainment. i was a lucky girl that night. i got to thank leslie for hir book. i got to thank leslie for permission to be lost, and for expanding my view of gender.
yeah. so maybe my friend will read the book, and maybe she won't. i hope she does.
Posted by brooke at 10:06 PM
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Sunday, 1 January 06
significant
i didn't have any plans today for new years eve, until i got home from errands and there was a message from a friend inviting me out to lost valley for a party out there. right after i talked to her i talked to another friend who lives out there, and was told to stop by their place since i was going to be there. i ended up skipping the party i was originally invited out for and spent the evening reflecting on memorable moments of 2005 and playing a rousing game of mexican train. i had a blast. really. around 11.30 or so i realized that i was going to be bringing in the new year in that very spot, surrounded by those people. i don't think i could have brought the new year in in a more perfect place. yes, it feels terribly significant to me, and my transitional life, that it was at lost valley that i saw 2006 for the first time. *breathe* it feels like a good omen for the new year. a terribly good omen.
Posted by brooke at 12:48 AM
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