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Thursday, 1 November 07 ::
one last note on tonight.
if i can remember the thought i just had. i realize that the world i live in is not the real one - the world that i hold out hope can exist - is not the world that i move about in. i realize that women have to learn self defense or else there would be far more women hurt in this violent society.
but. someone has got to be the idealist. someone has got to have a hold of a vision of peace, of justice - and - for me.. well, we each have purpose in life, we all have things that we hold on tight too - strong beliefs in something (or at least i hope people do). for a lot of people that something is God - for many of my friends - esp. those here in Utah - that belief in something bigger - is God (& the LDS church.) but for me, that thing that i believe in from the depths of my heart, that thing that i do my best to live up to in the moments that i can - is that we can have a society that is peaceful, we can have a society that is just. i have to be that idealist, because someone has too, and i - i am choosing too be the holder of that vision. because - if the vision is let go of, how can it ever grow?
so in my world, reality is different. in my world i refuse to be afraid of going places that i'm told i shouldn't because of my gender, skin colour, or other physical attributes. i refuse to let my femaleness stop me from doing what i want too. i refuse to give in to paranoia and fear. to some people this is stupid, but to me, it is the only choice i can make if i want to live in a world that is free of fear and violence. as my lds friends choose not to drink alcohol or coffee, i choose not to be afraid, i do my best to live the way i want the world to be. yes, i fail - we all fail, esp. in the face of a world of doubts and simply being human. yes, i may seem naiive - but i naiive i am not.
posted by brooke at November 1, 2007 11:36 PM
