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Friday, 16 November 07
inspired
my hero for the day is my friend lisa, of just lisa. why? because she's gotten into the middle of the politcal frey - she's found a candidate she believes in and she's doing everything in her power to get him elected. now, lisa isn't just any ol person, and she's not living in a political place. lisa is in rural iowa taking a stand for barack obama. she's been talking about him for awhile now, and while i haven't gotten on the obama bandwagon fully - her post today is the kind of thing i needed to read to convince myself to get on obama-wagon. i'm still not fully convinced - kucinich is really my guy, but he's certainly not electable - but her passionate description is enough to get most people convinced.
yeah! lisa for doing the hard work - the work that people don't thank you for doing. yeah lisa for getting in the trenches and facing all the stuff that people throw at you down in those political trenches. it's hard work, it's never ending, its work that sometimes tears your heart out - but in the end it is worth it. and me personally - well - i'm currently standing on the sidelines watching it all happen - wondering if i'm going to jump in or not - but i'm grateful lisa is there. if no one else thanks you lisa - i'll do it. thanks lisa for doing the work, i appreciate you being a part of the political process - and frankly - it's never too late.
Posted by brooke at 03:55 PM
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Thursday, 15 November 07
words of wisdom from sal sheklow
clipped from the eugene weekly, you can read the whole thing
...
So I need to remember my GOOD list is long
Despite the intolerance, greed and exclusion,
Sweet blessings abound in abundant profusion.
I've plenty to eat and clean water to drink
And an outlet to write and to say what I think.
I'm more or less free to speak out with impunity
Thanks to my friends and supportive community.
Tune in and refocus, I tell myself now,
And watch what goes on without having a cow.
Try to stay open, serene and aware,
Change what you can; for the rest, say a prayer.
So even though much is oppressive and hateful,
I still have a lot for which I can be grateful.
Posted by brooke at 03:47 PM
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Monday, 12 November 07
disappointing.
i went away to baltimore and how lucky did i get? uncle chas is there, along with his brother. my ma is there too. now, it was nice to see my ma, but it was my uncle chas and his brother that gave me that sense that i get to get whenever i leave this place: i am not the only person who exists who questions the status quo. i am not the only one standing up and demanding that things get better when others are sitting back, benefiting from the risks we take and taking distance when the risks we take don't pay off. for 2 days i didn't feel like my skin was rubbing against me, i felt comfortable in my skin.
< rest of entry deleted. >
agh. fuck.
Posted by brooke at 03:56 PM
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Thursday, 8 November 07
susrprise
from my mas b'berry... i'm at a conference.. v v sweet surprise.. my uncle chas who i've not seen in 4.5 years.. since baba. i remeber grwing up. coming to visit my grandparents here in md and how much more excited i was when s & c and t&j were going to be there.. last night i was that same little girl again.. so excited to see my uncle chas.. only this time an adult who could truly appreciate the person that is *my* uncle. i kept looking at him in great disbelief.. that it was him.. probably freaked him out.. but i am a girl who may live far away from family but it doesnt mean i dont love them with all my heart.. anyhow.. susie-- thank you for making the link.. and please tell c im sorry i got all sappy as we were parting tonight. i only wish youd been here too. love you.
Posted by brooke at 09:52 PM
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Thursday, 1 November 07
one last note on tonight.
if i can remember the thought i just had. i realize that the world i live in is not the real one - the world that i hold out hope can exist - is not the world that i move about in. i realize that women have to learn self defense or else there would be far more women hurt in this violent society.
but. someone has got to be the idealist. someone has got to have a hold of a vision of peace, of justice - and - for me.. well, we each have purpose in life, we all have things that we hold on tight too - strong beliefs in something (or at least i hope people do). for a lot of people that something is God - for many of my friends - esp. those here in Utah - that belief in something bigger - is God (& the LDS church.) but for me, that thing that i believe in from the depths of my heart, that thing that i do my best to live up to in the moments that i can - is that we can have a society that is peaceful, we can have a society that is just. i have to be that idealist, because someone has too, and i - i am choosing too be the holder of that vision. because - if the vision is let go of, how can it ever grow?
so in my world, reality is different. in my world i refuse to be afraid of going places that i'm told i shouldn't because of my gender, skin colour, or other physical attributes. i refuse to let my femaleness stop me from doing what i want too. i refuse to give in to paranoia and fear. to some people this is stupid, but to me, it is the only choice i can make if i want to live in a world that is free of fear and violence. as my lds friends choose not to drink alcohol or coffee, i choose not to be afraid, i do my best to live the way i want the world to be. yes, i fail - we all fail, esp. in the face of a world of doubts and simply being human. yes, i may seem naiive - but i naiive i am not.
Posted by brooke at 11:36 PM
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why i may just not be able to stick this out.
i think instead of spending so much time educating women about how to keep ourselves safe, we need to spend a hell of a lot more time educating men how not to attack us. i'm know that that isn't a revolutionary statement, because i have certainly heard feminists say that so many times.. but somehow that isn't sinking down into general society. i remember during one recent election someone denying that they were a pacificst - somewhere in the federal government, that somehow, in all levels of elections (maybe not some local elections in places like eugene, ann arbor, madison) calling oneself a pacifist is akin to calling oneself a pedophile, and it blows my mind that we live in a society like this.
and it makes me angry. it makes me angry that i as a woman am told that i shouldn't ever ride on the bike paths along the willamette at home in eugene by myself because i may attacked. instead of telling me that, why don't we tell men just to leave women the fuck alone? why don't we fucking recreate society so that those who are perceived as weak aren't preyed upon? why don't we fucking change things so that self defense for women doesn't have to be taught.
i am angry. i mean, furiously angry. i fucking hate this fucking mentality that it will never change, and that if it does change for the better that society will only be weak. i mean, i fucking hate it. i hate that it brings up anger, deep anger that wells from the very depths of my soul.
i was in a situation tonight where this anger was triggered. as soon as this topic came up, the very first thing that came to me was - damnit - where are the men? why are the women talking about this, and the men - where are their revultionary discussions about changing society so that self defense doesn't have to be taught? really?
and then i my mind went back to dancing on the edge. i was so lucky to sit with a sisterfriend - a woman who i know grapples with so much of the same things that i do. as i was sitting in this situation, getting angrier and angrier by the moment, knowing that - most likely - i wasn't sitting among any like minds - that if this sisterfriend had been there i could have looked at her and known that my rage at this society - this unwillingness to accept this violent status quo - would have been understood.
now i get it - i get that i am one of the lucky lucky ones. i have never ever been attacked. i get how lucky i am. but i hate that i am lucky. it makes me angry that we live in a world like we do and there aren't seminars happening every fucking night, all fucking day, for men - by men - about how to change it. it makes me angry that so many women simply accept it. it makes me angry that women are put in these situations and they think that those of us who refuse to accept the fear, that those of us who stand up to it all - are simply angry activists. it infuriates me. and living in a place like i do - living in a whole fucking state that is run - at least in some part - by a church that tells women that they need to stay at home and take care of their kids because it is gods wish - not theirs. i live in a fucking state where a church that tells women that they need to have a man in their lives to give them full access to all the blessings of god. it simply infuriates me. the whole fucking gender thing infuriates me.
and i know i am not alone. i know that i am not the only one who is angry- who is infuriated - at it all. i simply do not know how i'm going to do this - i don't know how i'm going to finish this fucking degree in this place. i hate the status quo in this state, i hate it. i have been fighting status quo all my life, and i hate living in a place where i feel so fucking alone in my fight. it angers me to a degree that i can't explain.
so i've got alix olson on. and dammit - i can't find her dvd. because when i watch alix olson in this goddess forsaken place, i don't feel so alone. i don't feel so alone in believing that the world can be different. i don't feel so alone in my anger at how it is right now. i'm not alone. there are other warriors out there. i just wish i'd ended up at a school where the warriors were a lot more visible.
Posted by brooke at 09:27 PM
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