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Tuesday, 19 June 07 ::
turtle brownies
i just came from the store where i picked up a box of turtle brownie mix on sale. it stirred a memory.
every christmas my grandmother, baba - my dad's mom, would make all sorts of scrumptious goodies. powdered stuff, cookies, etc.. my favourite thing that she made every year, that highlighted that it was, in fact, the christmas season - because i don't ever recall another time when they could be found - were her turtle brownies. in my head i have this image of going into the dining room - in wild rose shores (a neighborhood in annapolis, md) - and they could be found in there. its one of the lovely memories i have of my grandmother.
i think about them a lot - my grandparents passed - but its a rare moment that catches in my throat like this one does. it's been 4 years since she left us, 7 since he left us, and there are moments when it is hard to believe that i will never see her again. how can that be? how can it be that i will never ever hear her voice again. that she will never ever call me brooker again. that i will never have the chance to tell her that i love her ever again.
i was extremely lucky growing up. i am extremely lucky that i have the memories that i do about spending time at their home, with them. i just wish once, we could all get back together again.. *sigh* but i know, thats a wish a lot of us have of times passed.. of people who've left this world and, hopefully, are waiting for us in another. i wish i could know for sure. i really do.
i love you baba. i miss you. there isn't a day when i don't think of you, when i don't pick up something around my home and it's yours. you grace my presence every time i write my name, everytime i walk into my home, i just wish that presence could be in the form of my arms wrapping around you, and yours around me.
posted by brooke at June 19, 2007 08:57 PM
