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Wednesday, 27 June 07 ::
juggling metaphor
whenever i'm faced with new situations, new difficult things to wrap my head around i always like to see if i can come up with a new way to view it. i did this with statistics last night (statistics are just another way to tell a story about numbers, findings from a study, etc..), and i've been trying to do it with this whole phd experience. how do i see it in a different way to make it easier to understand? what is the metaphor?
see, i just came from a meeting where, after already feeling overwhelmed with my to do list, i got more things added. i got a little overwhelmed.. not like i used to - freaking out and stuff - just wondering when i'll get all of it done with the quality that this experience demands from me? it's a lot, and the to do list never stops growing. so far, in my 10.5 months of this process, i haven't felt like everything is done.. or anything is done for that matter..
so the point. i'm trying to come up with a metaphor for what it's like to be in phd school (i specifically call it phd school rather than grad school, because my experience has been that this degree is far more difficult to obtain than my masters was), and it finally occured to me. it's juggling.. only with this kind of juggling it's about trying to do the impossible - keep all the balls in the air at the same time - no catching and rethrowing, just keeping them there. i don't know how its done, i really don't. but, as with everything, it starts with a step, and another, and another. and self understandng that it is okay not to do everything for everyone, that boundaries are good, and that i'm doing enough - even when it feels like i never am.
juggling not just the balls, but also myself, and keeping myself in the air at the same time, because if i fall, all the balls fall.
posted by brooke at June 27, 2007 12:45 PM
