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Tuesday, 28 November 06 :: a touch of the personal.

every now and then i go back and reread a piece i wrote over a period of 3 weeks, after the events of 27 september 2001. on that day i became something no one ever predicts they will become -- a suicide attempt survivor. i included a section called 'aftermath.' i wrote one day i'll rewrite this and discuss the aftermath of that moment in my life. but its hard for me to write about it as i'm living it. well, i've never finished it. until now.

this is what i've written.

27 november 2006.

This is the end of this story. I’ve been waiting to write those paragraphs for 5 years. I didn’t think that this would be the end, I didn’t think I’d have nearly the life that I have dreamt about forever. I never thought I could walk the halls that I do on a daily basis. I never ever thought I would have the friends and community in Eugene that I have. They are a blessing and every day I am grateful for the safety net I feel like I have in them. Today I am scared of the next two weeks, but, it doesn’t paralyze me. Today I am nervous about that exam 2 weeks from today, but I know I can move through it and succeed. 5 years ago, I couldn’t have faced this, 5 years ago I simply could not do it. Yes, I am blessed, very very blessed.

Thend.

and yes, it is the end. i can now put that chapter of my life behind me. yeah me. yeah me. yeah me.

ps. if you wanna send good thoughts -->send them 12 december, 4.30 mst. thats the final exam.

posted by brooke at November 28, 2006 11:42 PM

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about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.