« guess i'll be going to dallas |
home
| stuck »
Tuesday, 15 August 06 ::
why i'm doing this
i got a package in the mail from my mom today. i was a bit surprised, but when i opened it i realized she was FINALLY sending me my copy of sue's book. yeah, sue's book. uh huh.
"To a person who believes that prostitution is a victimless crime,
I invite you to spend just one night in my nightmares.
To experience the fear that surrounds me when another person raises their voice.
To fear the thought of falling in love.
To jump at the touch of the kindest of hands.
This was more than a time in my life; this changed the smallest piece of every day.
To the women still "out there," reach out for help."
I'm going to make a copy of this poem and put it up behind my desk at work. This is why I'm in Logan, Utah. This is why I came to do this work.
huh?
I came to get a PhD for several reasons. I believe that I can find a decent job at the end of this so I can buy a house, put money away for retirement, have health care, and be a mom. Thats the self serving reason I came to do this work. And I know, all those things are such big things to want. SO many people in this world don't even get a part of that. SO many people in this country, so many people that I know are struggling for financial security. I get it. But I want it, and if a PhD will help me get it, then so be it.
And then there are reasons like Sue. Not Sue herself, but all those Sue's out there. I'm here because its in their lives that I want to make a difference. I think going overseas and all is groovy, but I, I need to stay here. I need to think of all the Sue's in this world who need me to remember them, as I'm sitting in my ivory tower talking about things like 'podcasts' and 'communities of practice.' They need me to remember that its them that need ME to use my privilage to speak up, and do what I can so that they can find the same privilage I have.
I was very touched by Sue. I loved that she lived near me for the last 2 months I was in Eugene. They were rough months for me, and she made me laugh. She was comforting (punny!). And I learned a lot about myself. Writing this reminds me that I need to call them. To tell them I think about them a lot. To let her son know he's not far from my mind, to tell her that she's going to serve as reminder to me of what I'm doing here in Logan, and to thank her for it.
posted by brooke at August 15, 2006 08:03 PM
