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Wednesday, 16 August 06 :: stuck

i'm feeling a little stuck, or unsure of myself with work. not knowing if i'm doing the right thing, even though all the feedback i'm getting from my professor is the exact opposite. its a frustrating feeling to have. *sigh* i'm looking forward to him getting back from a much deserved vacation, just so i can touch bases with him in person and make sure i'm on the right track.. or if i'm not, getting back on the right track. *sigh* no, work isn't very fun right now. *sigh* i know it'll get better when i can feel more sure of myself. *sigh*

i'm missing the intense connections i have with people at home, but i came into this thing knowing it would be lonely. it could be a hell of a lot worse than it is. i know that.

but i'm going to have to face something and set a boundary with someone at home that i don't want to, but i'm tired. and i'm tired of how it clouds how i feel about everything here. *sigh*

but i am grateful for what i have here, and i'm making some really nice connections with some folks here. yeah. i've been one to look at the bad side of things, rather than the good side. i know things could be a lot harder than they are. *sigh*

i'm looking forward to classes starting, but dreading the extra work load. but this is what i came here for, and i know it'll be good for me. *sigh* i love what i'm learning, i just wish reading didn't take so long. *sigh*

posted by brooke at August 16, 2006 11:42 PM

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about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.