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Monday, 17 July 06 ::
packing and heart break
i'm packing. a lot. yeah. tonight it was 6.5 hours of it. packing and cleaning and packing and cleaning some more. i felt proud of myself that i was able to dig through those moments of wanting to stop and find a new enthusiasm. i've not been able to do that in the past, normally i would just quit when i got tired, but these days i just push through, and it feels nice to get things done. so, i'm closer than i was, but i still have a number of hours left to go. i'll do some tommorrow night after the white privilage workshop and then wednesday night as well. thursday is xena night, so i won't be doing any then.. and then heart of now.
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and i'm looking forward to all of this. but i'm dealing with heart break. 2 of my 4 cats won't be coming with me, and that is awfully sad. and they won't be leaving me until the 28th, which sucks a lot. i don't like this heart thing, them being here and yet not be able to think of my future with them. no, i don't like it one bit. its hard on my heart to continue to love them fully when i know i have to uproot their lives and send them someplace so unfamiliar (the humane society). but i work on trying to look at the positive, rather than the negative. i'll be taking 2 with me and those 2 will be joy. yes, lots of joy, because thats what living with these animals bring me. lots of lots of joy. (for the most part, except when they throw up or i have to clean their litter box out).
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i'm looking forward to the course this weekend. i've not been out to a full course in a number of months. and i'm looking forward to seeing old friends. yes, and loving them with great abound. yes. lots of hugging.
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anyhow, i have heart of now homework to finish.
posted by brooke at July 17, 2006 11:27 PM
