rivervision - since election day of 2000.

Sunday, 5 February 06 :: learned

i got to chat with someone x about someone y else today. it was a heartening chat because i got to see that my reactions to someone y's actions were / are pretty normal.. but now, now i question my judgement in bringing y into my life. if i'd known back then what i know now, i would have likely kept my distance from y. but i didn't, and i'm reluctant to create distance. i need to email y about getting together to talk.. but tonight its just tears. just lots of tears at a hurt by y that i've stuffed down that came up today, and wishing that person m were here just to hold me. m has been a safe person for me throughout these months, when they are around and i hurt, m has said just what i needed to hear. i may call m in the morning to see if they are available to chat some about this situation with y and another, unrelated situation. i could use some of m's clarity, wisdom and tenderness right now.

posted by brooke at February 5, 2006 09:23 PM

comments

about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.