rivervision - since election day of 2000.

« rough night tonight | home | going skiing »

Friday, 25 November 05 :: tonight was joy

i realized tonight that i have a choice about experiencing joy or sadness, that i can be in my story, damage, or simply in the present.

i went dancing tonight and when i first got there i wanted just the slow songs. i wanted to be mellow and sad. and then i got sick of it, i got sick of being sad. i realized that in that moment, nothing else mattered than the music and moving my body. i eventually moved out of my sadness and just started playing with myself and the music. i just dug down to where all the sadness has been and tried to move my body to the truth of the music.

in this moment i feel light and alive. i'm working on that damn statement of mine and i'm rather sick of it, but my eyes feel like they are channeling joy. that is utterly exciting.

i picked up this book today:

"when less is more: the complete guide for women considering breast reduction surgery"

i'm not considering it, i'm actually having it done.. tertia's good friend rose had her's done the other day. i'm having mine in less than 2 months. apparently my friends are planning my support behind my back. i love that. i have friends that will take care of me. i have friends that will take care of me, and I GET SMALLER BOOBs. yeehaw. i like that. so, i got the book and i'll read the vast majority of it.

okay. statement time. and ice cream.

posted by brooke at November 25, 2005 09:32 PM

comments

about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.