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Thursday, 25 August 05 :: standardized tests don't measure ability

i took the gre yesterday, and while i did better than expected (but still not great) on the verbal, i did not do well on the math. math that i last studied 12 years ago. that i tried to relearn, but because i am so busy with things more relevant to both my current life and what i want to do in grad school, i didn't learn enough. i thought i might not retake this thing, but i simply cannot let a score on the gre be the thing that eliminates a top program from possibility.

i nearly flunked out of high school, did moderately well as an undergrad, and graduate student -- at a top program. i never thought that a top program would be in the realm of my possibilities for a phd program --- ever, but after the march encouragement from 2 of my professors at that top program who both said i should apply to a top program it feels important to me to do everything i can to secure a place. i have the ability to succeed at the harvard of instructional tech programs, i have the encouragement from 2 people who should know, and so i want to do that. it is utterly important to me that i get into indiana and georgia.

so, i'll spend the next month studying again. i have acutally bought a book about math on the gre (instead of just checking one out from the library). i'll set the date for late, and not right after a long week of big events. i'll do better, and i'll do my best to secure a place at the kind of program i want to enter. it is utterly important.. for my ego, for my development as a person, for my future. yes. but most of all it is utterly important for that little girl who was told she would never succeed.. who grew up in the shadow of all those other professor's kids who over achieved while she just sat on the sidelines and watched them attain their goals.. it is utterly important for that little girl to know that she can tow the line with those kids, that she can stand shoulder to shoulder with them with her head held high, knowing that yes, she truly is one of them, that she has made it.

posted by brooke at August 25, 2005 12:00 PM

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about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.