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Friday, 19 August 05 :: long week

its been a long week and its almost over. i finally got my bike tyre fixed, and that was good.

on my way home from the fairgrounds yesterday i kept thinking how relaxing biking is. i mean, biking as a commute, not up any hills. the rythm of the pedal, the wind, the noticing everything around you that you tend to miss when you are in your car ------ from the exhaust coming out of the car sitting next to you at the intersection, to the moon, nearly full.. watching it the whole way home after work. the whole process is a moving meditation, and the stress of my early week was only exasterbated by not having this this week.. by having it interrupted.

i just came from seeing a friend of mine. we talked about this and that and as i was leaving i told her about this 5 year wait i have ahead of me. she understands it, because she lived it as well. 19 years my senior and she knows what the next 5 years will be like. a lot of yearning and heartache.. will the wait ever end? she never knew then, and for me it doesn't feel like i will ever have the thrill of knowing that moment of being able to start working on bringing the child into my life.

tommorrow my little friend turns 8. or, its the celebration of that day, which actually happens sunday. i decided to go ahead and skip work to attend. i simply cannot miss her party, i have to be there for my little friend's birthday. she didn't get to sleep till late tonight, because she is so full of fire, and i hope the day goes well without a meltdown.

posted by brooke at August 19, 2005 11:14 PM

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about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.