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Thursday, 17 March 05 ::
i remember
i remember when i got here. it was after 5 long days of driving across country. the night before i'd made it to the state line, crossed it and pretty nearly immediately burst into tears when i'd realized that i'd forgotten my very favourite stuffed animal, that i'd had since i was 8, back in rawlins, wyoming that morning. i should have been thrilled that i'd finally made it to the place of my dreams, but instead i was curled up in a lonely hotel room crying into the phone to my mother about the loss of my beloved stuffed animal. (the stuffed animal was returned to me in eugene a week later)
i remember getting to the willamette valley and driving down it. the whole time i was scanning the horizon for the picture of the mountain - now referred to as butte - that my friend had sent me. the first time i spotted it i knew i was almost home. at the time i didn't know it if it would be my permanent home, i wanted it to be, i hoped it would be, but realistically i thought feared it would just be a way station as i found a job north or south.
i remember getting into the eugene city limits on i-5. i was waiting to get to my exit and i found myself, after a bit of a strip mall, in the middle of a hill - mountain in my old vocabulary - and trees. i exited off and ended up driving up the 30th avenue hill. i was excited that my truck, laden with 5 days of travel, all my belongings, my 2 cats and me, could make it up.
i remember coming up over the crest of the hill and then down towards hilyard. i passed a sign that had the population of the city, in my head i added one more to that number.
i remember getting my oregon drivers license, my name and picture on an official oregon license. i was so proud. i was 3000 miles away, on my own, and here was proof that i'd made it. i'd made it out to this strange and beauitiful state.
when i got here 7 years ago i didn't think i'd be able to stay. by a series of strange events, here i am 7 years later, planning my departure. not because oregon is ready to have me leave, but because i need to go out into the world, beyond this heavenly place full of trees, water and all my friends.. my friends who have proven to me that i am worthy.. to make my life better......... so i can come back to add myself to another census number, so i can come back with a much better sense of purpose, so i can come back feeling full and knowing i can make an even better-than-now life for myself here.
posted by brooke at March 17, 2005 10:10 AM
