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Monday, 29 November 04 ::
first try, a success
i'm dealing with something i don't want to deal with, really. a personal lack of faith of sorts. anyhow, i don't want to go into that..
but what i will go into is that i called my sponsor for the first time during a crisis. yes, my sponsor. i was crying and going to and from the computer, trying to find comfort, and i decided to call her.
i only asked her a week ago. i asked her cause she and i frequent the same meetings, she's terribly nice, and compassionate. i have a hard time trusting people, so it wasn't an easy ask. and since i asked her i'd barely seen her.
so, i called. and she answered. my excuse for calling was to set up a meeting with her. i'm feeling rather stuck and so i want to get together with her and just go over the work i've done. after we set that up, she asked how i was, and i said not good. so we talked. and it helped. and she was glad i talked to her.
it feels good? to have a sponsor? i dunno.. but its good to have someone to call in times of psychic crisis. because, essientally, everyone else has decided it would be best to keep their distance. thanks.
*agh*
anyhow, i also dashed an email off to my friend s, hopefully she and i will get together sometime really soon. i also looked up flights t iowa, but things are too expensive (yes, lisa, i *was* going to run it by you ;-). at some point i need to go to iowa instead of just flying over. i also checked out trips to afghanistan and iran. global exchange does tours to those places.. wouldn't it be great to go to afghanistan?? if i were to get a part time job, i could pay for the trip. *sigh* i might just have too. cause it would be a trip of a lifetime.. far more than anything else i've done. plus, i need something to look forward too. but would it be worth spending most of my savings on?
i also had 5 shots of coconut rum. good stuff.. kinda like nyquil.. :P unfortunately i don't get drunk anymore these days. (relax! a) i had them over 2.5 hours and b) its the first time in 6 years, and i don't plan to make a habit.. when i'm 37 i'll do it again.)
on that note, i'm outta here.
posted by brooke at November 29, 2004 10:45 PM
