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Thursday, 26 August 04 ::
on being a woman..
i'm learning a lot these days on what it means to be a woman. what it means to be a woman in this society.
the first thing i have learned is that maybe it is a shame that my mother raised me to believe that there was nothing that i couldn't do because of my gender. my father taught me that men treat women with respect simply because they are human, not for any special reason, and disrespect someone because they are a woman.. well, its just not done. and my brother.. he learned these lessons from my parents and never once treated me with any sort of superior attitude because of his gender.
its a shame that my family is like this because, as i am learning these days, the world is not like my family. the vast majority of people are not taught that the genders are genders and we might do things different ways but that does not mean that one is better than the other. the vast majority of the world really is about the good ol' boy network, a network i knew about but didn't really believe its existance.. no, i didn't believe that the good ol' boy network would be around in this day and age, especially in a town like eugene. no.
i am learning what my place in this world is. i am learning that what my mother taught me to believe is my rightful place is, in fact, not it. i am learning that i am not equal to men in this world, no matter how good i might be, no matter how hard i work, no matter what. i am learning about the true uphill battle we have. the true uphill battle we have to be seen not as our gender, but as who we are as people.
i know, i've been spoiled. i have lead a sheltered life. i know. most women experience this at a much earlier age. most women live it like i am so much earlier. these days i wish i had learned my place earlier, because now wouldn't be so hard.
i'm learning that the men who say they are on our side, well.. no matter how hard they try, they aren't. they might say they are, but really, they can't be. they simply don't get it. they are not being treated as we are. no, they aren't. and they make excuses for behavior because they don't hurt. in fact they get to participate in all the crap that goes on around us. no, no matter how wonderful the man, don't trust them to be on your side.
i'm learning that i'm not alone though. i'm learning that the women i surround myself with don't just put lip service to equality, the women i choose to surround myself with get it. they understand my frustration, my anger at the injustice of it all.
the last 2 days have been not good days for me. they have been filled with frustration and anger at the system i find myself in. they have been filled with tears and yells, pounding of my fists on the wall at the injustice of it all, pounding my fists on the wall in anger at the men who think they get it not getting it.
to be a woman in this society is to compromise. to be a woman in this society is to give up a part of yourself. to be a woman in this society.. goddess. to be a woman in this society is hard. it is simply hard.
posted by brooke at August 26, 2004 10:54 PM
