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Friday, 30 July 04 ::
want to get this down.
another reason why i live in eugene? because at night i can ride home on the bike path and look over to see the willamette river glowing from the light of the moon. goddess, you can't just get that anywhere. yes, thats why most of us are willing to earn far below what we should be. yes, it is.
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my doc was great today. have i mentioned what a great doc i have? really and truly. if everyone could have a doctor like her the world would be such a better place. and you think i just say that? no, i don't. because as a rule i hate doctors. i've got a history with them that goes back to childhood. not a pleasant one. this must mean she's more special than your most special doc.
anyhow, she and i talked about the current state of my ailment and other life stuff.. she said just said to me the basics.. 'you want to be with a partner and you aren't. you want to be a parent and you aren't. makes sense you are unsatisfied with your current life.' nicely put dr. c. love ya.
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i must be ovulating. my want to be a mother is stronger now than it has been in awhile (probably just a month). i should track these things. my ovulating. you'd think after reading blogs of those fabulously funny and strong infertile women that i would. but i don't. and after having what i have that would help track that, i would. but i don't. cause i'm lazy. and i fear it would make me wanna be a mamma even more than i do.
wanna be a mamma right now?? how would i ever afford it??
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i went out to drinks with this fabulous group of women tonight. they are all women who took prominent rolls in the recent mayoral campaign. on several occasions i looked around at these fabulous women and just thought about what they just made happen for our city. really. it was huge. and then i'd think about myself. because, i was one of them. not that i worked on that campaign, but i too was one of them because i had taken a prominent roll in another campaign. yes, i did as big a thing to change this city as they did. sometimes its just hard to believe. really and truly.
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what else?
gonna cook up some chicken for the mama cat now. its late. she'll appreciate it.
posted by brooke at July 30, 2004 10:31 PM
I never tracked my own ovulation prior to going to a fertility doctor. It never occurred to me that tracking temperature and other things was something I was supposed to do. :-)
It wouldn't have mattered anyway. I am too lazy to get up at the same time each mornng to take my temperature. Plus the fact that my eggs were already bad by the time we started.
I really do hope you find yourself in the right situtaion to have a baby. When my husband and I started trying for a baby, we were broke. Now we are in a better position, but still no baby. I guess the point I am trying to make is that there never really is a right time to have a baby. But you are right in the fact that there has to be support in your life to help you.
I hope you get everything you want very soon.
posted by: Jodi at July 31, 2004 12:14 PM
