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Monday, 26 July 04 ::
and the mood swings just keep at me.
i must not have gained AS MUCH weight over the last month or so as i imagined. because my OLD, re: pre gaining 60lbs, lifejacket FITS! my lovely purple lifejacket, my lovely one bought at the nantahala outdoor center 6 years ago, FITS ME.
OH MY GODDESS. I AM HAPPY.
and tommorrow morning, i'm going to REI. i'm replacing the ropes i misplaced while at the fair. then i am getting in my car, with my bike in the back, and driving to oregon river sports. i will drop my boat off there, drive down to alton baker park, drop my car off, ride my bike back to ORS and paddle merrily down the willamette. *first thing* in the morning. by myself. happily.
oh my goddess. i've been looking forward to paddling with MY lifejacket, not that XXL behemoth i bought a few years ago.
this will feel good.
for those of you new to the story
i was a whitewater kayaker many many many moons ago. i was so good i was a member of the 1991 jr. national whitewater slalom team. a year later i raced in the 1992 whitewater slalom olympic trials..
fast forward 12 years. only been paddling on and off, suffered major burnout. had a comeback recreationally in 1994 and 1998, then moved out here. water too cold. small fish in a big pond, no longer a big fish in a small pond. hard on my ego. then i get sick, gain 60lbs on medication, i stop boating. i buy a canoe and the behemoth lifejacket, hate both. paddle once in 5 years. i go to baja and realize maybe i want to boat again. i go boating once since february, on flatwater. i hate flatwater. tommorrow is my first day out on whitewater in 5 years. class i-ii whitewater, but whitewater nonetheless. and yes, i'm comfortable enough with my skills to know that paddling on class i-ii by myself is not an issue.
we'll see what my future in boating has for me. i hope i find some joy in it again. i hope i loose my fear of dying in class III rapids, cause i won't. i hope i learn my love of weekend boating again. i hope i get to surf on that wave on lake creek this fall or winter.
we'll see.
but right now i'm just jazzed that my beautiful purple lifejacket with the beautiful flower on the back fits me again.
posted by brooke at July 26, 2004 09:35 PM
Sorry I got here a little late, but congratulations on sticking with the blog. I am very proud of you and don't worry about nasty remarks, just delete them, or do what I do, change the spelling and sentence structure and make them look like idiots.
posted by: Jodi at July 27, 2004 11:30 AM
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about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.
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