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Tuesday, 1 May 07 ::
new office.
i just finished moving into a new desk in a new office for a new job. as i was unpacking and setting up my multitude of personal things on my new desk i realized how much hope comes with a new opportunity. for me, at least, a new opportunity represents a change for the good in my life - whether it be personal, spiritual, emotional, or professional. this case falls under the professional, with a smattering of the emotional thrown in.
i'm not sure what exactly i want to say about the hope, but i remember having the same feeling of hope in march of 2005 when i got an email from a former professor giving me advice and encouragement in pursuing a phd, and then a year later upon visiting logan and understanding that what there was here for me was more than i'd thought. my second choice school had a lot, and in retrospect maybe it was better that i didn't get into my first choice -- afterall not only was it amazingly beautiful here, but yes, it was true that these people really did want to save the world. and now, a year and a month later i have that same feeling of hope. only this time, with a lot more understanding about this process and this department. am i jaded? no. but i have a lot of hope that i've made the right decision. i have a lot of hope that this decision won't extend this process longer than i'd like it to be extended. i have a lot of hope that i'll find in this new opportunity what i found so lacking in the last opportunity.
i'm a touch tired of feeling grateful for everything that i've been given. 2 weeks ago as i was driving to oregon i was feeling incredibly grateful for this new opportunity, but i'm tired of feeling gratitude. while i'm still grateful for this, i'd also like to simply be satisfied for building for myself what i've built here in this place for myself. its a nice thing to know that i've been good enough at this process to have been offered a new opportunity with the new hope that comes with it. its a nice thing to know that the two people who are in charge of this new opportunity believe that i have something to offer to this team, and its a nice thing to know that i'll do everything in my power not to let anything get in my way of taking advantage of everything that sits in front of me.
i enjoy the hope that comes with life change. i enjoy it a lot. but most of all i enjoy the fact that i have been able to enact the change that the hope comes with.
posted by brooke at May 1, 2007 05:33 PM
