rivervision - since election day of 2000.

Wednesday, 11 April 07 :: contemplation

you know, i often contemplate how i could make this blog more interesting to bring in more readers. when i first started blogging, i had quite a few readers, and then after 9/11 and i was being all political and stuff and saying things people didn't want to hear back then i got even more readers. and then there was the nervous break down and what was once a thriving blog became only a shell of its former self.

and so, i wonder, i could write about my daily struggles being a single woman in mormon land, but that gets to painful at times. or i could write about how there is nothing more i want then to be partnered and have a family. but that too is to painful.

and to write about this path i'm on.. daily i understand myself more and more. daily i work on things that i think will make me a better friend to myself and those i hold dear. i challenge myself. but do i want to write about those things? do people want to hear the melancholy thoughts of a person who is desperately trying to stay on the sane side of that thin line that divides functioning from madness?

as someone who knows that the slide into madness can be a very quick one, i don't think i want to dwell on those thoughts here in this space. its not that i want to pretend they don't exist (because they do), but when i write something down i'd rather it be through the lens of seeing a life that is full, rather than a life that is scarce. that is the reflection i'd like to find in myself when i sit down in this space to write.

i don't know how many readers i have, and i've turned off the comments. but if you want to weigh in on what you'd like to hear about, i'd love to hear from you -- brookesblog@rivervision.com and if you don't want to weigh in, thats fine too. i started this blog without readers, and i seem to continue it, not knowing if there are people out there as curious about my life as i am about theirs (or yours).

posted by brooke at April 11, 2007 11:29 PM

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about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.