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Thursday, 7 December 06 ::
12 years ago today.
yep. i mark every december 7th. it's simply amazing where my life was back then, and where it sits right now. where it stands right now. who i am and who i've become.
there is one huge part of my life that is SO not where i want it to be. yes, a huge part. but its just one of the huge parts. there are other huge parts, and frankly, over the last week i have lost sight of the many different parts of my life.
december 7th, as i look back on it now, was the beginning of really my coming into being. there are other days that can be marked like that --> august 3rd 1998 (starting my trek across the country to oregon), may 6th 2005 (my first heart of now). i've become a better person because of that date. i've become more understanding, more empathetic, a better ally.
12 years ago i was in atlanta. i was on the cusp of finishing my first degree, unhappily. not the finishing, but the degree. i had no idea how to start my life, i had no idea about taking care of myself, getting a job, surviving. i had no idea that i could be happy. i had no idea. no, i didn't know about much. but, then again i was only 21. 21 year olds, really, in retrospect, don't know much. and, i know that in 12 years i'll be saying the same thing about 33 year olds. in retrospect, i may think i know a lot right now, but i don't. i don't know much. i know what i know, and there is a lot more to know. and not just about academics, localization, and getting a phd.
12 years ago my life changed for the better. i have a purpose in life because of this date. i'm happy about that. i'm happy that i know that my purpose in life is to help empower disempowered populations, whether those populations be disempowered because of their gender orientation, or their lack of access to the basic resources needed to live. it is a purpose, and today, as i sit on the cusp of the end of my first semester as a phd student i'm glad i know. i'm glad that i'm driving through this program with knowledge of what i want to do, that i'm not simply flitting around, wondering which direction to go in.
12 years ago was a big day in my history. i'm glad i'm past it, not the reason, but the day. i'm glad i'm 12 years older. in those years, between now and then, i have experienced things i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. and i have experienced things that i would wish on not only my worst enemy but my very best friend.
okay. on that note, i need to go write a paper.
posted by brooke at December 7, 2006 10:08 AM
