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Thursday, 24 August 06 :: yes, i'm homesick

it hit today. i left work and just had this craving for my friends, for eugene. its not a crying type of craving, just an urge to go home and see them all. just to hug them. just to, yeah, look at them in the eyes and say 'hi'.. almost a want for things to go back to where they were just a few months ago. on the brink of something new, yet still at home.

i miss you all. it almost aches in my skin, when i look around myself and see no one familiar. i see no one that i've known for a long period of time, no one that knows all my quirks and still loves me, no one that i have such familiarity with that i can just wrap myself up in. its a nice thing to have with people and i don't have it here at all.

some of them are at burning man this weekend, others at heart of now. they are all somewhere, and me, i am here in logan, reading and getting ready for the first day of classes. the first day of classes as a ph.d. student. i don't know whether to be intimidated or not. either way, this is the path i've chosen for myself.

it is such a different world. such different worlds i come from and find myself in. my practicallity didn't always fit in there, and my whimsical emotional side doesn't always fit in here. there's balance, and yet i wish i could have both at the same time.

i've not heard from my friend k. i sent her my phone number, told her i'd love to have her, and yet she was hoping the universe would find her a way to burning man. i hope it did, because that is what she wanted. i hope she found her way, to burning man, to our friends that she misses. i'll miss not seeing her, and having that familiar comfort, but thats okay. i know what she needs and i hope she gets her needs met.

december. yep. my hope is that i can get out of here before the end of finals week, to get to eugene, to see my friends.

i'm not sad, no, i'm not sad, its just a simple craving. craving those that love me, even with all my quirks.

posted by brooke at August 24, 2006 05:52 PM

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about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.