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Sunday, 2 July 06 ::
going to church today
i'm going to the church of latter day saints today with a friend of mine who happens to be an lds member. why am i going? well, the imeptus was this whole moving to utah thing. i didn't really believe how big the lds church was there until i opened up the logan yellow pages. there are a lot of lds churches simply in the small college town of logan utah. after that i got it. the lds church is pretty big in utah, and i know for a fact i'm going to be working with a few, if not many, mormons. i want to understand the culture just a bit better.
another reason for me to go is to try to understand people better. i mean, if you were to line me up with my friend, and i have an idea many members of her church, it really wouldn't appear that we are very different, but my social - political views, and the fact that i have been so very active in moving my views forward, do make us somewhat different. a little known secret about me is that i spend a lot of time trying to understand people who have such different political views as i do, and even more so, people who have such different social views. sometimes i take it on almost like a scientific study. i know, it sounds bad and judgemental, but the root of my curiousity is simply trying to create an understanding so that i don't feel so seperate, so that i can find a place of commonality. now, in doing this, would i like folks who see the world so differently than i change their views so that they are more inclined to believe like me? well, awhile ago i would have answered that with a resounding yes, but now.. well, maybe i've simply moved closer to the center, or maybe.. i dunno, but now its really about not changing political views but rather understanding them so that when i do approach them maybe we can find space of common respect and understanding.
and i think thats the underlying reason for attending church with my friend today, really walking this talk that i do about respecting everyone, no matter what i or they may believe. now, i have an idea that i've made people around me rather uncomfortable with the very firm stance i've taken, especially since this whole utah thing popped up, about stopping people in their strides as they start dissing on the mormons and conservatives and respecting them even though they may not respect me. and because of this i really need to dive in and see the culture from the inside out. one take on it is that i'm doing a scientific study -- 'tell me what its like!' -- said a couple of friends.. but really, thats not what its about, and i'm not sure how much 'reporting' i'll do.. really what its about is simply going to church and sunday school with my friend and opening my heart to what is there. i'm sure everyone will be super nice, and i hope, even with my extreme fatigue (couldn't get to sleep till late, had to get up early to take a friend to the train), that i will be super nice and attentive.
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update. so, i didn't end this mornings entry very well. anyhow, that said. i went to church -- 3 hours of it. i thought i'd be tired through out, i thought i'd be looking at my watch waiting for it to end.. but i didn't. i was thouroughly moved. i mean, truly, fully moved. what they've got going on at the lds church is pretty good stuff.. now, i'll admit -- i don't agree with anti-queer stuff, and i don't know what to make about the whole prophet thing.. but you know, thats okay, i don't need to believe everything someone believes. its okay. there are other spiritual places i can go...
.. what i do know though, and i actually said this, is that we really are all alike. i mean, not 100%, but we're more alike than people think. i sat there and listened to people talk about struggles with the same things i struggle with. i heard them talk about spirituality in ways that totally jived with me. it was pretty cool. i'm terribly glad i went. thank you sweet and kind s, thank you so much.
posted by brooke at July 2, 2006 11:06 AM
