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Tuesday, 13 June 06 ::
early good-byes
*sigh* i wasn't supposed to be saying any good-byes this early, no, i wasn't. but it was my last group tonight at LEAD -- something i didn't realize until closing tonight. when i started at LEAD i was just doing administrative stuff, but soon after maj asked me if i wanted to be a direct service volunteer. its been through direct service that i've really been able to understand what LEAD is all about, its been through direct service that i've connected to the program in a really wholistic way. it has been a huge blessing in my life and i will miss those evening groups, i will miss the playing and the serious moments, the sharing and my own learning a lot.
i've thought a lot about how i can actually do this. how can i leave this community, this love, how can i leave this thing that i've just discovered and fallen in love with? but i know, that in this moment if i were given a choice between staying at LEAD right now or going to logan i'd probably choose logan. i don't know what yet there is to learn there, what i can gain that i will be able to take back to LEAD. yes, when i think about logan, what i think about is 'what a great place to find a potentially incredible gift for LEAD, for the teens'.. yes, i have found this thing that i love, but i know that i need to go walk through this door of opportunity that i've found in logan. yes, i need to see whats out there.
there is sadness in leaving, but there's also excitement in the new potentials. will i be able to pull it off? i don't know. will i be able to come back to LEAD if i don't? i don't know. but i have to take the risk. afterall, isn't that what LEAD is about? i think maj would say yes.
*sigh*
posted by brooke at June 13, 2006 11:53 PM
