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Thursday, 29 June 06 ::
delicious
i'm struggling with all the different pieces of this move. from the actual move itself to the leaving of people and this beloved city of eugene, to things seeming to be left unclean with people that is uncomfortable to me.
to try to put things in perspective i got on my road bike. now, when i bought this bike my intention was to spend a lot of time with it riding long distances, but just after i bought it i got icky sick, and then the recovery from that didn't seem to happen like i needed it too, and then there was 5 days on the deschutes and and and. and lots of excuses. until this week. i saw my doc, she gave me an inhaler, and while i don't like how jittery it makes me, i like the fact that i feel like my lungs have back up. and my legs, well, my legs just have to get used to biking again..
.. so, like i said, i decided to go for a ride on my bike along the river. it wasn't my intention to go very far, maybe just to skinner butte park or alton baker at the most (1 mile) but after i got to alton baker i decided to go further. the night was cool and my legs felt great.
.. excercise really is a gift to me. even though i carry around a belly, being physical really is the best thing i can do when i've got something on my mind.. now mind you, i don't mean the kind of excercise till i'm dead kind of physical -- thats different -- but being able to fly along on a flat bike path by the river with a sweet oregon crescent moon in the sky, a slight pink oregon sunset shadowing it, well thats what i mean about being physical and putting things in perspective. i will miss this sky. yes, i love this oregon sky, and these oregon rivers. yes, i am a pacific northwesterner. yes, i am. i like the mild winters, the sweet springs, the ecstatic autumns. i love the rain, i detest it when it gets too hot, i love the high of a sunny day after a month of rain. i live for it all.. its in my blood. yes, i will miss the cool oregon summer nights. just warm enough to wear shorts, a t-shirt and my chaco's, but cool enough not to sweat while flying by the river on my bike..
.. but like i said. i went for a nice ride tonight to collect my thoughts about it all. i'm dreading my going away party. i don't like hosting parties. i need to let go of my anger at mc. i need to not expect so much from people. i need to love myself..
.. and the desert. i'm glad i'm getting this chance to go to the desert for a few years. when i spent 3 weeks in baja i fell in love with the desert. and last week, i love the desert landscape. i just don't like the heat. while i do tan, eventually, i also burn. and to fly by the river in the heat.. well, there isn't a river to fly by and whatever there is to ride by probably won't be a river. but the scenery is incredible, and to be able to get the chance to see what the desert does have to offer. it will be different, and i can only hope equally as stunning. no, i cannot wait to see what the sky is like on a kind utah evening when i have the chance to take a nice relaxing bike ride somewhere just to clear my mind.
... so, where was i? clearing my mind. a nice bike ride. yeah. it was delicious.
posted by brooke at June 29, 2006 12:21 AM
