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Thursday, 2 March 06 :: get it. got it. yeah.

yeah mlm, i got it. really, i do. i totally get it. you realize you've made decisions about my life a hell of a lot harder, don't you? actually, you don't read this, so i may just have to tell you.. but i know you already know all this. damn it, and you. damn damn damn. you know mlm, everytime i talk about them and this work that we do i find myself close to tears. it happened tonight as i was trying to recreate your story about the history for the webperson. and anytime i talk about my own story and why i got involved. and everytime i talk about them to other people. did you know how much i was going to love working with them? that they would become the highlight of my week? did you know that i'd be shedding tears at the thought of them too? i didn't. i didn't realize that i would get far more back from them than i ever give to them. i didn't realize that the highlight of some of my weeks would be simple moments of sharing with them. you know a highlight of this week? after monday evening and walking back with them and sharing a laugh with two of them about how short i am. that moment of acceptance by them, goddess mlm, that moment of utter acceptance made my week. damn you mlm, damn you. you've made these decisions far too hard. i guess its a blessing.. its a blessing that feels like its breaking my heart.

posted by brooke at March 2, 2006 11:13 PM

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about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.