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Wednesday, 16 November 05 :: too personal

i'm usually an open book to my family, but in finding things from dancing on the edge, things i created, pictures of me in moments of toughness, i've realized -- there are moments my family aren't welcome in. they aren't welcome to see the full size photos of those hard, but gratifying moments, they aren't welcome to see the artwork i created. my friends there, those who have held those same moments in their own hearts, those who held those moments for me, they are welcome.. but people outside, particularly my family, aren't. i will share with them the cooking, cleaning, and holding of others, but i won't share with them the holding of me.

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my interview at georgia went great. i hope i get to go back. i hope i have to rip my heart out in oregon to go study in georgia. and i'll do my best to write into my funding 2 trips to oregon every year. 'for her success in this program, she must go visit her home, and those she loves.' i hope it stays that way.

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i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with all my crap right now. and the paper i need to work on. really, i just want to sleep. i may, as i have a super busy rest of 2005.

posted by brooke at November 16, 2005 05:25 PM

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about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.