rivervision - since election day of 2000.

Monday, 10 October 05 :: a lot of processing

i'm doing a lot of processing right now. i mean, lots and lots of it. i'm kept up till the wee hours of the morning and then woken up again in the wee hours processing everything. feeling my stuff and trying to feel it differently. i'm not wanting to work. if i'm not curled up processing, i'm wanting to clean my apartment. make it more of a home. make good food. nurture myself. thats never ever been the case for me.

maybe thats this little girl stuff? i don't know. i don't know what its about, except that it rang true for me for the first time EVER the other day. *sigh*

i'm looking forward to dancing on the edge.

friends are coming over on sunday for brunch. i've checked in with all of them. i've spent time with each of them, except one, recently. i actually had to narrow it down to these particular friends. one dear friend who feels like she's been in my life longer than the year and a half she's been here.. one friend who i first connected with during the primaries last year, who i finally pursued to say 'yeah, dig-it, lets be friends.' and i love being with her. a weekly walking partner she's becoming. and we can both be totally nuts together. an activist friend who i have a good relationship with, but who's friendship i want to solidify into the kind that we can really feel comfortable saying to the other 'hey, i feel like shit.' and get support for it.. and her partner, her partner who first caused me to have the inkling that i might not be straight, that i might actually be bisexual. she makes me laugh. and 2 new friends, one of whom i'm a bit too attached to for my own comfort, but who's wisdom and place in my life i'm grateful for. and the other, who i just find that my affection for just grows each time i see them. i'm glad all of them are coming over.

anyhow, i'm off track. i have things i don't want to do to do.

*sigh*

posted by brooke at October 10, 2005 01:07 PM

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about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.