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Monday, 4 July 05 ::
not doing the 4th.
no, i'm not doing the 4th of july tonight. i wish i was, kinda, but no one invited me out. *agh* its the poor me scenario. i'm itimately familiar with it. *sigh* i just wish people would remember me, esp. when we talked about possible plans for the weekend. *unhappy sigh* i really hate being single a lot. if i had a family, being alone would be a non issue.
BUT
its giving me a chance to do research for going back to get my ph.d. i'm actually making a list of professors i might want to study with. i've got 10 at 5 different schools so far. differing research interests, but they make the grade because they seem to be studying something attached to making the world a better place. except for one guy.. one guy simply made the list because he got all 3 of his degrees from the university of oregon. anyone who has spent that much time in academia at the u of o must be a pretty good person.. i know, some academics are real farts, but.. well.. the u this guy is at has got a department that i'd really be interested in doing my cognate area in.
anyhow. it feels good to be taking this time to do something towards this goal of mine. it feels good to nurture myself in this way. and though i slept all weekend, i don't feel like i did anything wrong.. i needed the time to myself. i woke up this morning not feeling weak and exhausted for the first time in a long time. now, if only i can do something about my terribly short temper.
btw. my cats. not phased in the least about the noise outside. no one running for cover.. all quietly sleeping in various spots throughout my small apartment.. must mean they are a lot more well adjusted than i often give them credit for.
posted by brooke at July 4, 2005 10:05 PM
i had a peaceful evening last night. kaseja's dog Huckabee was scared from the fireworks sounds. Marty, the kids and beth went to Dexter
lake to see the fireworks. What plans did you have originally for last night ?
i have not updated http://rkmlai.livejournal.com recently but i invite you to read it if you desire.
i am gladdened that you report feeling not "weak and exhausted" above. i often have had the experience that when i sleep "more" i (up until now) often feel more tired than when i originally set out to sleep. i have not
experienced your "terribly short temper".
it even seems like writing, which up until now has not been easy for me or my best format for communicating, is getting less frustrating as an experience for me.
posted by: rkmlai at July 6, 2005 02:33 PM
