rivervision - since election day of 2000.

« sloan-kettering | home | i might very well have a job! »

Tuesday, 15 February 05 :: the future

i realized today that i'm starting to spin the same kind of story about cancer that i've read about in other places. starting with the infamous kaycee nicole incident, and then, more touchingly sandee's day in and day out struggles, and more like mine, emilin's story, i've read and gotten myself excited to hear good results, and felt my heart drop with bad results. i never thought i'd be the one to spin such a story. i never thought i'd be the one anxious to hear about doctors appointments.

i want the story to be spun. i want to know what the future has brought us. i want to know that, in the end, it all turns out well. i don't want to be the spinner of our own story these days.

at this point i don't know where my life will be in a year. i hope that my life is better than it is now. i don't know if i want it to be in eugene. i know i don't want it to be alone anymore. but no matter what i do.. if i make the decision to put my hopes and wants out into the universe or to keep them close to my heart, i cannot choose to believe that i can predict the future.

posted by brooke at February 15, 2005 09:32 PM

comments

Brooke, I have to apologize. I haven't been reading as regularly lately, and somehow I believe I managed to miss the cancer part. I had no idea, I truly did not. I am so sorry (that I missed that, and therefore have not beem as supportive as I would like to be). We just found out that my husband's older brother has Hodgkin's. HE just found out, aand has asked us for nutritional info since he knows we are into organic eating and clean living. So I am about to be knee-deep in the research of it. My heart is with you.

posted by: chasmyn at February 18, 2005 12:16 AM

Emilin, gosh could I relate :*(
Brooke, you are never far from my thoughts *hugs*

posted by: Sandee at February 18, 2005 04:52 AM

about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.