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Thursday, 10 February 05 :: cancer

i had this great entry started on cancer and my father.. i poured out my heart in ways that i hadn't here in a long long time. i was honest and to the point about being the daughter of a cancer patient. but then i closed the window and lost it all.

i've been thinking a lot about cancer this last day and a half. i know that it sucks, big time. i know that my father having cancer sucks bigger than big time. i know that however it is i'm feeling, i can't even begin to imagine how dad is feeling.

i went to a presentation tonight on depleted uranium. goddess, it was overwhelming and depressing.. the presenter didn't mean it to be, but it was. how can we do anything about something that is so institutionalized? how can we fight on ONE more issue? how can we try to save the world, save innocent people a half a world away, when we can't save ourselves?

each and every person who dies is my father. okay, that didn't sound right. but each time you see a daughter on tv crying out in pain because her father just died, imagine it your own. each and every father that we kill over there, well, those daughters are going through what i might have to go through. the pain you see on their faces is the same pain you see on the face of all the american daughters who have just lost their fathers. yes, their pain is our pain. thats what i thought about tonight as i heard these stories of what depleted uranium does, what our bombs do. i thought about my father, and the cancer that has striken him.

i need to contact breast cancer action. awhile ago i had a friend who worked with them and i got a bunch of those cool 'cancer sucks' buttons. i gave them to friends who were dealing with it. i never thought i'd need one for me.

posted by brooke at February 10, 2005 10:50 PM

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about
i'm brooke, born in '73. i am currently a phd student in instructional technology. this is the blog where i capture all the neurotic, and the few non-neurotic, moments that seem to come with being a phd student (if you want to read less neuroses and more professionalism go to: oer's, dl's, reuse and culture: it's about a phd student researching digital resources in a multicultural world). i have been from eugene, oregon for a long time.. 8 years specifically (its my home now, but i grew up in southwestern virginia), but now i'm here in logan, utah at utah state university. after finding my roots in eugene i never could have expected that i would leave that liberal oasis and head to utah. but i did and there are days when its a blessing and days when i'm tempted to go back to oregon and beg the folks at lost valley educational center to let me move in. but i won't leave because there are days when this process is better than any kind of high i could ever imagine. what else? i collect things, i have 2 cats, 2 kayaks, 2 laptops (i'm a geek - one mac, one pc). i can be emailed at brookesblog@rivervision.com.