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Tuesday, 16 November 04 ::
psychic energy, higher power, and activism.
my psychic energy has been terribly low these days.. i mean, really, incredibly, badly low. since the election i've been in 'healing' mode.. i've not been in any sort of space to go out and organize to save the world.. after all, i just gave my heart and soul to try to save it through the, flawed, electoral process. my efforts didn't pay off, so along with just being emotionally worn out, i'm rather discouraged.
since the election my friends and collegues have started to rally. i've been to a couple of meetings, but i've only been. when the idea of taking something on, any small task whatsoever, my mind goes into 'rejection' mode.. in that 'if you ask me to do *anything* i'm likely to get all snippy with you, so really, just bug off.' it hasn't been a pleasant mode of mind, no, it hasn't.
what i have been doing lately is seeking out the spiritual side of things. i started this during the campaign, and my seeking has only grown. i joined the unitarian universalist church, officially, on sunday. that felt great. really, wonderful. i can walk into that church now and say 'i belong' and no one can tell me otherwise. i've been working on another path also, another spiritual path.
my friend r invited me to the social concerns committee at the uu church. r is a great organizer, a good woman. i've been wanting to work with her for awhile. so i skipped the justice not war steering committee meeting and went. i was just going to listen, not do anything.. but when something came up, r looked at me.. and i didn't get this 'if you ask me to do *anything* i'm likely to get all snippy with you, so really, just bug off.' feeling at all.. i ended up volunteering to help, without feeling overwhelmed.
i concluded something. i concluded that right now i need to work on my spiritual path. that if there is something i can do to help change the world that works through that spiritual path, i'll help. yeah, if i can go and be around people who are working on the same thing, if i can spend time in spaces that i feel safe and comfortable, my lack of psychic energy is not as big a deal.. because the support is there. the support from the people, the space, and the higher power.
yes, the higher power. i'm a unitarian universalist.. my higher power is not just one energy.. i spent one night recently defining it.. i believe that all the higher powers of all the world's religion exist. i believe that they have vastly different energies, and yet there is room for them to all exist. i have spent time talking to different ones since i started this. it feels totally natural, totally real, and very right.
so, yeah. if i'm doing the work in a spiritual community, then the psychic support is built in, from the top of the universe to the bottom (however one might define that space)/ i feel i can handle it.. it feels right.
posted by brooke at November 16, 2004 09:30 PM
