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Wednesday, 29 September 04
kaelin bowers.
kaelin bowers.
i'm not sure what to say. i've not talked to him in a long time. 9 months? when things got hoppin' with 20303 last year, thats when i started doing less bill of rights defense committee work and more other work. but it doesn't mean that i didn't think about him from time to time.
kaelin was dedicated. he was honest about who he was and what he believed in. his heart was, well.. not perfect, none of us are.. but it was a good heart, a good soul. he was passionate. he moved with his passion. he was incredibly kind.
i was lucky to know him. i wished we'd stayed in touch. i had a crush on him for a long time. 'the perfect man' of course! a person transitioning from female to male, oh. my. goddess. all the heart of a woman but the energy of a man. kaelin knew how to process.
i admired his energy. i admired his tirelessness. while he was going 100% for the bill of rights work, he was doing the same for his trans work. he was well thought, logical. he was confident, but not too. he stuck to his guns, unless he discovered his guns were misshapen and then he'd try new ones on.
kaelin was found lifeless in his apartment on 24 september. no one knows when exactly he died, all that we know right now is that he died of natural causes. i hope he didn't suffer, i hope when he died, he didn't know it.. because i don't want him to have known he was dying alone.
has the world lost a great man? no. its not like he was super human.. but the oregon community of people who fight for everyone's rights has lost a great comrade. we've lost a colleague that can't be replaced. he bridged the gap, queer to straight, muslim to non-muslim. not many people do that.
thank you kaelin for doing what you did for us. thank you. may your soul be where it is meant to be, may you be at peace wherever you are.
Posted by brooke at 09:32 PM
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Monday, 27 September 04
knitting.
these days i'm campaigning, more campaigning, trying to keep myself sane, more campaigning, trying to keep myself sane, and knitting.
i started to knit a year ago, but i didn't know any knitters. it was all me, and i taught myself how to knit and purl. but thats it. i got myself through a few scarves, loved knitting, but quickly got frustrated and bored with my lack of ability to learn anything else.
so i quit.
one of the few positives about this campaign (excuse me, my morale sucks these days, big time) is that i got to meet e. after a bit of getting to know each other, i discovered that e is a knitter. and not just your run of the mill knitter, e is a hard core, spins her own yarn type knitter. and, she knows lots of other knitters, including one who everyone says is a great teacher, who said she will teach me.
so, since the campaign started i've been knitting again. e has shown me a couple of little things and i've just taken off. i'm knitting at every possible moment. i've completed 2 projects and am working on a third. e is going to loan me some needles, until my early christmas present from my ma gets here so i can work on yet another project.
i'm excited. i've never been the type who bakes or sews or anything like that. my mom raised me on computers in her office, not on needles in the kitchen. a very different set of skills. i've always been envious of people who talk about canning, quiliting, knitting, baking flakey crusts. talents that just aren't that valued in the world i move about in. things that are more meditation and creating something whole and touchable, rather than money making and untouchable.
and now, now when i knit, i can see the piece taking shape, i can feel it under my hands. i get to experience all the textures that come with the different yarns and the different needles. i love wood needles, they feel best in my hands, but metal needles slip with the yarn better and i knit looser on them. i've got some yarn, lambs pride, bulky weight stuff, that i first worked with.. its great and stretchy.. but i'm getting bored of it. now i'm knitting with other stuff, alpaca and tweed, less bulky wool.. each one a different pleasure to work with. each set of colors a treat to see coming together. each one brings its joys (and frustrations at times).
Posted by brooke at 08:35 PM
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Thursday, 23 September 04
what i want!
i've been knitting up a storm over the last few weeks. i've found someone who is an avid knitter and who has friends who are avid knitters who are willing to teach me to be a better knitter, teach me how to knit something besides a plain ol' scarf.
anyhow. i've managed to knit a cable (?) scarf for my sister in law, and i'm working on a little one for my nephew, exactly like hers.. and then i'll make one for brother. i've also knitted a triangular shawl that i gave to my friend p. this week is kinda crazy, and right now i'm putting off doing work that i should be.. so i've not done any knitting since tuesday.
i'm jazzed, though. i love knitting! love it, and i love it even more that there are women around that will teach me how to knit more and more and more! maybe a sweater by spring? dare i hope. one woman even said she'd teach me how to spin my own yarn!
anyhow.. its christmas season. i've figured out what i want for christmas..
i want this, a set of interchangeable needles in various sizes. oh so nice! i'll teach mom how to be a better knitter, esp. if i get this and can give her the bits and pieces of needles i've got now.
hahahahahaha
okay. off to work.
Posted by brooke at 11:25 AM
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Wednesday, 22 September 04
from michael moore..
its going around.. but just in case one of the few readers of this site hasn't read it..
Monday, September 20th, 2004
Put Away Your Hankies...a message from Michael Moore
9/20/04
Dear Friends,
Enough of the handwringing! Enough of the doomsaying! Do I have to come there and personally calm you down? Stop with all the defeatism, OK? Bush IS a goner -- IF we all just quit our whining and bellyaching and stop shaking like a bunch of nervous ninnies. Geez, this is embarrassing! The Republicans are laughing at us. Do you ever see them cry, "Oh, it's all over! We are finished! Bush can't win! Waaaaaa!"
Hell no. It's never over for them until the last ballot is shredded. They are never finished -- they just keeping moving forward like sharks that never sleep, always pushing, pulling, kicking, blocking, lying.
They are relentless and that is why we secretly admire them -- they just simply never, ever give up. Only 30% of the country calls itself "Republican," yet the Republicans own it all -- the White House, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority of the governorships. How do you think they've been able to pull that off considering they are a minority? It's because they eat you and me and every other liberal for breakfast and then spend the rest of the day wreaking havoc on the planet.
Look at us -- what a bunch of crybabies. Bush gets a bounce after his convention and you would have thought the Germans had run through Poland again. The Bushies are coming, the Bushies are coming! Yes, they caught Kerry asleep on the Swift Boat thing. Yes, they found the frequency in Dan Rather and ran with it. Suddenly it's like, "THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS FALLING!"
No, it is not. If I hear one more person tell me how lousy a candidate Kerry is and how he can't win... Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate -- he's a Democrat, for heavens sake! That party is so pathetic, they even lose the elections they win! What were you expecting, Bruce Springsteen heading up the ticket? Bruce would make a helluva president, but guys like him don't run -- and neither do you or I. People like Kerry run.
Yes, OF COURSE any of us would have run a better, smarter, kick-ass campaign. Of course we would have smacked each and every one of those phony swifty boaty bastards down. But WE are not running for president -- Kerry is. So quit complaining and work with what we have. Oprah just gave 300 women a... Pontiac! Did you see any of them frowning and moaning and screaming, "Oh God, NOT a friggin' Pontiac!" Of course not, they were happy. The Pontiacs all had four wheels, an engine and a gas pedal. You want more than that, well, I can't help you. I had a Pontiac once and it lasted a good year. And it was a VERY good year.
My friends, it is time for a reality check.
1. The polls are wrong. They are all over the map like diarrhea. On Friday, one poll had Bush 13 points ahead -- and another poll had them both tied. There are three reasons why the polls are b.s.: One, they are polling "likely voters." "Likely" means those who have consistently voted in the past few elections. So that cuts out young people who are voting for the first time and a ton of non-voters who are definitely going to vote in THIS election. Second, they are not polling people who use their cell phone as their primary phone. Again, that means they are not talking to young people. Finally, most of the polls are weighted with too many Republicans, as pollster John Zogby revealed last week. You are being snookered if you believe any of these polls.
2. Kerry has brought in the Clinton A-team. Instead of shunning Clinton (as Gore did), Kerry has decided to not make that mistake.
3. Traveling around the country, as I've been doing, I gotta tell ya, there is a hell of a lot of unrest out there. Much of it is not being captured by the mainstream press. But it is simmering and it is real. Do not let those well-produced Bush rallies of angry white people scare you. Turn off the TV! (Except Jon Stewart and Bill Moyers -- everything else is just a sugar-coated lie).
4. Conventional wisdom says if the election is decided on "9/11" (the fear of terrorism), Bush wins. But if it is decided on the job we are doing in Iraq, then Bush loses. And folks, that "job," you might have noticed, has descended into the third level of a hell we used to call Vietnam. There is no way out. It is a full-blown mess of a quagmire and the body bags will sadly only mount higher. Regardless of what Kerry meant by his original war vote, he ain't the one who sent those kids to their deaths -- and Mr. and Mrs. Middle America knows it. Had Bush bothered to show up when he was in the "service" he might have somewhat of a clue as to how to recognize an immoral war that cannot be "won." All he has delivered to Iraq was that plasticized turkey last Thanksgiving. It is this failure of monumental proportions that is going to cook his goose come this November.
So, do not despair. All is not over. Far from it. The Bush people need you to believe that it is over. They need you to slump back into your easy chair and feel that sick pain in your gut as you contemplate another four years of George W. Bush. They need you to wish we had a candidate who didn't windsurf and who was just as smart as we were when WE knew Bush was lying about WMD and Saddam planning 9/11. It's like Karl Rove is hypnotizing you -- "Kerry voted for the war...Kerry voted for the war...Kerrrrrryyy vooootted fooooor theeee warrrrrrrrrr..."
Yes...Yes...Yesssss....He did! HE DID! No sense in fighting now...what I need is sleep...sleeep...sleeeeeeppppp...
WAKE UP! The majority are with us! More than half of all Americans are pro-choice, want stronger environmental laws, are appalled that assault weapons are back on the street -- and 54% now believe the war is wrong. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO CONVINCE THEM OF ANY OF THIS -- YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE THEM A RAY OF HOPE AND A RIDE TO THE POLLS. CAN YOU DO THAT? WILL YOU DO THAT?
Just for me, please? Buck up. The country is almost back in our hands. Not another negative word until Nov. 3rd! Then you can bitch all you want about how you wish Kerry was still that long-haired kid who once had the courage to stand up for something. Personally, I think that kid is still inside him. Instead of the wailing and gnashing of your teeth, why not hold out a hand to him and help the inner soldier/protester come out and defeat the forces of evil we now so desperately face. Do we have any other choice?
Yours,
Michael Moore
Posted by brooke at 07:23 PM
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Friday, 17 September 04
today's hero.
Minutes after Cheney began to speak, a man in the crowd started yelling at him. That's when another man standing nearby grabbed the heckler, covered his mouth and wrestled him to the floor. After a brief pause, Cheney continued with his speech.
i have a hero for today. unexpectedly.
i was watching the 5 o'clock news, not something i planned to do, but it was on and i was darting about the house getting rain ready to go downtown. i was distracted, so the news being on was okay. and after hearing about protesters at cheney's appearance in eugene, i wanted to see if i could spot any of my friends holding up signs.
next thing i know i'm shouting at the top of my lungs "LET HIM GO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO HIM, DON'T HURT HIM".. it was my friend peter. my sweet accupuncturist friend peter. he was the man who shouted down dick cheney today, and when i saw them hurting him as he was telling the truth that would never be spoken in that crowd, my heart lept into my gut which lept into my voice, and undoubtedly my neighbors were disturbed.
i called peter that moment. afraid i would get his partner on the phone, he was in jail, or maybe in the hospital. but he wasn't. he wasn't in either place. he was his usual calm, peaceful self. proud, happy that he got on the news, glad to hear my voice.
i finished on the phone and got on my bike to ride downtown. i yelled as i rode...
I HAVE THE COOLEST FRIENDS!!!!
and i do.
and today my friend peter is my hero. peter had the courage to speak the truth to one of the men who is responsible for the killing of the innocents, who is responsible for killing the innocents here and abroad. my friend peter today looked into the eyes of a man who believes that we live in a world just for the rich white men and has the power to create that world and told him exactly what he is. a criminal. he told him, he voiced the rage that so many of us hold in our hearts, he got to direct it at the person who should have it. and that person heard him.
today peter is my hero. i'm so lucky my heros are my friends.
Posted by brooke at 08:25 PM
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Sunday, 12 September 04
bad attitude
i have a bad attitude this morning. seriously bad. i mean, so really incredibly bad.
john kerry is not going to save us. john kerry is not going to be some great angel from the heavens and all of a sudden fix the multitude upon multitude of problems in this country, created not only by george w bush but also by his very own party.
i'm sorry. but its the truth. help is not on the way. what is on the way is the lesser of two evils. what is on the way is someone who is only going to slow this country's decline into an imperialistic nation where only the super rich can afford the lifestyle that so many people come here to achieve. i'm sorry, but again, john kerry is no savior.
i voted for kucinich in the primary, and kucinich is no savior either. frankly the democratic party, a party of which i have been a member for my 13 years of being able to vote, is a bunch of namby pamby liberals. namby pamby because they aren't liberals like the liberals i hang out with.. my friends, i, and others, we raise our voices with dissent, we stir shit up. we don't sit idly by while some man tries to ruin the world because god told him so. if i and my community were in power in the leadership of the democratic national committee, tom daschle would have never gotten away with giving into the bush administration over and over and over... if we were in power the dnc would have demanded the truth about 9/11, enron, the war in iraq, and raked bushy and his buddies over the coals with it.
i'm sorry to burst any bubbles, but john kerry is one of them. he is a super rich guy who doesn't know how humiliating it is to have to apply for food stamps. he doesn't get it, and he never will.
and the folks who think kerry is the great savior, well, they are as stupid as the folks who believe that bush is the great savior.
this message brought to you by a very tired woman who has to go and listen to folks from the democratic national committee feed volunteers a bunch of crap today about why they need to give their hearts and souls to getting kerry elected, while neglecting the local candidates.
Posted by brooke at 09:15 AM
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Thursday, 9 September 04
life babbles..
random notes from my life.
i thought i could take the morning off.. i'm kinda doing it.. sorta.. but maybe not.
i forgot to plug my my sanity box in last night. battery is nearly out.. its plugged in now, for 1/2 hour of charging..
i spent yesterday night driving around town looking for labels.. its a good thing i called e this morning, cause i got the wrong color labels. back to square one with the labels.
meeting at noon.
forgot to call volunteers yesterday because of fiasco at the campaign office.
long freakin' weekend. busy all day sunday and saturday with campaign stuff.. when do i get a break? i dunno. i'm off and running again with the week on monday. *sigh* if only i can sneak some knitting in while sitting at the booth in walterville on saturday. won't look good, will it, eh? my sanity sticks.
apartment is a mess. when will it get clean? never.
taking 7 year old t to a meeting tonight. she's a trooper. love that little girl. last night she told me i'd make a good mommy. and she asks me if i'll be adopting my yet to be here child.
yesterday e gave me a magnet.. serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace within the storm.. appropriate, being that today is 54 days from november 2nd. love that e for the magnet, not so happy that she is so correctly counting down the days to d-day. my head is in the sand.
and on that note. i'm not doing anything for the campaign. i should be.
Posted by brooke at 11:04 AM
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Wednesday, 8 September 04
jim said no!!!!
from kezi.com
Eugene Mayor Jim Torrey has decided he will not seek re-election with a write-in campaign. A group of Torrey supporters have been campaigning for the current Eugene Mayor to run for a third term as a write-in candidate.
The group known as Run Jim Run says they do not agree with Kitty Piercy and her goals as the Mayor of Eugene. Piercy won the primary election against Nancy Nathanson for the spot of Mayor in May. KEZI 9 News will have a full report at 5, 6 and 11pm.
that means..
after a crappy day yesterday, today is better. and this makes it even more better.
Posted by brooke at 11:42 AM
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Monday, 6 September 04
public service announcement.
hi all,
this is a public service announcement.
i know that everyone is all stressed out about the presidential campaign, and that a lot of people are working on the side of john kerry..
but.
george w. became so powerful not because all of a sudden the right took power at the top.. no, george w. has become so powerful because there has been a slow but sure shift to the evangelical right at all levels of government. yes, from your school board and city council to your state house and senate and then on up.
we need to pay attention to the races that are not so sexy. we need to pay attention to what is going on in our very communities, we need to pay attention to the candidates who are out knocking on our doors every weekends, reminding you how important their races are to not only the livability of your individual communities, but also to the liveability of the country.
please read your newspapers and pay attention. please notice who the guy standing on the corner shaking hands at the local school bake off is.. find out why they are running and what they represent. do your research and make an educated, thoughtful, insightful vote for those who run your cities, counties, and states.
if we can take back the local, taking back the national is going to be a hell of a lot easier.
Posted by brooke at 01:07 PM
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Thursday, 2 September 04
old friends.. new friends..
i like my new friends. the new ones, the ones that i am sharing adrenaline filled moments with. they are kind, mostly gentle, geeky... like me. but they are new, to the greatest extent of new. i don't touch them like i do my friends. i don't greet them with hugs of knowledge, i don't part with hugs of comfort.
tonight my friend e came to call with us. e hugs. e tells me she loves me even though we've never socialized outside of activist work. i know she loves me, and i love her. the whole time she was around i kept hugging her. i kept hugging e, i kept hugging her familiarity, her knowledge of me a year ago when i went to greece, her knowledge of me before i uncame out. it was nice.
my friend k emailed tonight about meetings. my first email off to her was that i couldn't be there.. my second was i miss y'all.. so, even though its a long boring meeting, i want to go, because i want to be around people that i have history with.
yeah yeah.. co-manager and i have spent time talking. yeah yeah, we laugh at each other. we've shared shit about our lives.. yeah, she's great. but the knowledge we have of each other, well.. its a month old. its not a year or 2 old.
i ended up calling k tonight. we talked about lots of stuff. i told her about co-manager and the friendship we seem to be creating. but then i told her that i missed her. i told her that i know that sounded sappy and all, but thats just how i felt. and k, k was great.. she said it wasn't sappy, she was glad to hear it.
i really think these new relationships are great. i think they are valuable, and i hope they extend past this project. i hope i'm just building a bigger community for myself with them..
but as the old saying goes.. 'make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold..' and these friends of mine, these activist friends of mine, yeah, dig-it, they're gold.
Posted by brooke at 11:25 PM
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Wednesday, 1 September 04
nader failed to qualify!!!!!
nader failed to qualify for the oregon ballot!!!!!!
yeah, so kerry is a putz, but.. really. does nader have a chance in hell? oh fuck no. and really, is kerry better than bush.. oh holy bejeezus fuck yes.
Posted by brooke at 11:05 PM
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around the blogging world.
i'm hopped up on coffee and chocolate. *great*
but..
my longest blogging friend, whom i don't talk to much these days, but who i hope knows that i think about her often and just simply adore her, can't sleep. *sigh* i wish there were something i could do for her. oh how i wish.
a new blogging friend who has been trying to conceive for a long time is now pregnant. now, i know that this isn't a done deal.. from reading other infertility blogs i think i understand that she doesn't have an easy road ahead of her, this isn't a pregnancy she can now just sit and enjoy. but i'm so excited for her, and thinking lots of warm and joyful thoughts for her, and i'm sending out hopes and wishes for an event-free 9 months.
Posted by brooke at 12:25 PM
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