in allergy news, i'm currently taking zyrtec every night. its expensive, i've got an 8 day free sample from my good doctor. it seems to be doing something.. but i can definetly feel it unkicking in after about 18 hours. and the allergies seem to be settling more and more in my lungs.

and lastly..

tommorrow j, k, and i are doing a presentation on why marriage sucks and what the queer community should be doing instead. j will take the marriage theories, k will probably take the action piece, and i get the anger part..

re: the queers ask for the help from the progressive community, and then they don't give back. when really what they are wanting from marriage, besides equality, is all the things the progressives (well, those with a social mind that extends beyond "we shouldn't discriminate!") are fighting for. for everyone. not just those privilaged to be married, or those privilaged to married to someone who has the privilage of having economic benefits that are worthy of extending to a partner.

amazing. people talk and talk and talk and they forget that there are a lot of jobs out there without benefits, or benefits that suck so bad that you wouldn't want to inflict them on your worst enemy. and the scary thing, a lot of these people are running the country.

'of course sharing heatlh coverage with a partner..' that is, if you or your partner has a job that provides you with health care, not all jobs do.

goddess..

and further, people forget that NOT EVERYONE IS LUCKY ENOUGH TO FIND A PARTNER. there is a whole cadre of single people out there that don't have the benefit of having said partner. we're screwed. and people forget that. they ignore it.

oh goddess.. here comes the single rant.

really. life is a hell of a lot easier with a partner. and don't tell me differently. goddess, if i had a partner to go through the bad shit with, even if we were arguing a lot. the knowledge that it was WE and not ME.. people just forget how sucky it is to be single. do you really think if being single were better that we'd live in such a coupled centered society? goddess. some people, most coupled people, even the ones who are aware, just can't get out of their knowledge..

'oh, i'd love to be single because of the relationship crap...' then i remind them of the fact that if things go shitty its JUST ME, if i loose my apartment because my landlord sells the place, its JUST ME that holds the bag..

if they are really listening, thats when they get it, thats when they are transported, ever so shortly, back to life as a single person. and they usually want to run as fast as they can from me. i scare them. what could happen if they separate.

thats the only advantage i have. i know i can survive as a single person. if i am ever lucky enough to find a partner, i will always have the very smug knowledge that i CAN do it alone. i can, because i am getting through one of the toughest times a person can survive ALL ON MY OWN (yes, i have a family that i love tremendously, but they are 3000 miles away and not here for the day to day support that most people forget is more valuable than it appears to be).

so, back to queer marriage. i'll be the anger of the single person. i'll be the anger of a person who has worked in the queer movement for nearly a decade and the peace and justice movement very seriously for the past 1.5 years and i've seen that the queer movement doesn't do politics, unless its ONLY theirs. and it pisses me off. they want and they want and they want and they refuse to give back. they refuse to look past the establishment. they refuse to look past privilage.. and the folks who strove to redefine society back in the 70's have bought into it lock stock and barrel and they are only screwing us all over in the process.

at least i'm not blind to it. at least i'm not blind to it and buying their crappy product.