i'm absolutely exhausted. the never ending constant nag of the campaign and now an awful situation popping up that needs my full attention. plus, i know i've sounded all cavelier and shit about this trip to turkey, but i'm stressed about being in a place where i don't speak the language, where the streets are laid out nice and simple in squares like they are here, where i don't speak the language. totally stressed. and fearful too. afraid i'll get lost somewhere and not be able to find my way home. stupid.. but.
*sigh*
and the fact that i'm not on top of my trip to turkey. i've got nothing planned past the first 2 nights. and i turned down a ride from the airport to the pension i'm staying in, and i'm thinking i should arrange a servas host instead, but i really want to save istanbul for the last part but the servas hosts are mainly in instanbul and ankara and i don't want to go to ankara.. and and and. fuckerdoodle.
and my huge life change once i get back. i'm just tired. i want to stay at home and spend time with my cats. esp. max knows how stressed i am. he's stressed too. and the fact that, really, only one person has acknowledged that they understand the pain i'm in about this current, unexpected, emergency situation.. its very difficult.
i want to go back to bed, yet i'll feel guilty if i do. people need me. and my resume needs me not to do that.
*sigh*
Posted by brooke at May 6, 2004 10:47 AM