its 61 degrees right now. at least thats what the AOL weather bug says. i think its warmer.
i did not want to come in tonight. oh how i didn't! so warm and comfy outside on my bike.. anything i could do to extend my stay outside i did. i should go back out. after i eat dinner.
i talked to my mom for about 40 minutes today. mostly i did the talking. i processed with her about my lack of a partner. she was incredibly nice about it..
i said that i've done my time alone. yes, we should all spend some time alone as an adult, i believe firmly, but i'm 31, i'm done.
we also talked about stressful lives and the lack of having a partner. i talked to her about how i don't have the support that a partnered person does. i don't have someone to curl up with at night, if i loose a job there's no one else to help out with the income. its just me. and everyone is very focused on their family lives.. people live these very inner lives, with the people they share a house with.. when you are single you don't have that. and its hard. not that it isn't hard having a partner, but the support, well its just not there.
it was nice to have someone back up my feelings about not being partnered and dealing with people who are. and it was nice to have someone back up my feelings on wanting a child, wanting a family, wanting what my brother has. i'll give up living in eugene with all these wonderful things to have what my brother has with his wife and soon to be baby.
it sounds like it was a depressing day, talking about all this.. but it wasn't. it was nice to hear from my mom how valid all my feelings are.
and the warmth, well, it made the day extra nice.
Posted by brooke at April 26, 2004 10:26 PM